The Normals
by animaniacal
Summary: Kaoru has been trying to return to normal after a serious betrayal. When she is stood up by her date to Megumi and Sano's wedding, will an old friend of Sano's from his army days become something more than a last-minute replacement? Their meeting may help them both heal from their past traumas, but that past may also come back to haunt them… Modern AU, parallels to the manga.
1. Chapter 1

Thanks for reading my fic! This story is a meet-cute that got way, _way_ out of hand. As in, I have manga-based alternative tragic backstories for pretty much _everyone. _The story starts with a flashback, **a depiction of a combat situation**, but after that, it'll be focusing more on romance.

This is still a work in progress, so forgive me for any incoherent thoughts, or poor pacing. I'm trying this _longform plot-based writin' thing_ out, and any feedback you want to give is much appreciated.

**TW**: There will also be some discussions of partner abuse. I am still a little conflicted about including this in my story, but it is an issue I care about, and my intent is to treat the issue sensitively. Please _please_ don't hesitate to contact me if you find anything I say harmful or insincere! I promise to mark any chapters that have anything more than highly oblique references to it, but it's going to be in here.

Other notes: Kaoru is my favorite female character, and I hope to do her justice in this story. I find her very difficult to write for in the canon story (her childhood is something of a mystery to me, and she is just so _pure_; what flaws she does have are so different from my own, I struggle getting into her head). Anyway, while in the first section she is not her usual self, I want to make her a complex character.

I am not an expert on the US military; my uncle served and I have friends from high school who joined, but other than that, I'm taking most of my more realistic cues from things I've read and researched the past few years. My lack of expertise means I'm asking y'all to buy into this army/CIA conception. If YOU have any expertise, and have any suggestions for me, I would absolutely love to hear from you!

This story will have a lot of inspiration pulled from **The Evil Hours, **by David Morris. A great book, if you want more insight into trauma, especially as it relates to combat.

Lastly, as will be shortly obvious, I'm using the Iraq/Afghanistan conflict as my parallel for the Bakumatsu. I don't _really_ wanting to get into any political conversations, so quickly, here is my perspective: war is hell, building up a new government is much harder than tearing down an old one, and the US has been getting overly involved in complicated global situations for a long time. I don't in any way want to condone or condemn the actions of all soldiers; as in all things, individual experiences become mired in the societal forces we are _all_ subjected to.

Thanks! Please, please review! You are great.

**This chapter has a depiction of combat. Coming chapters will be rather different.**

* * *

PROLOGUE

"What place did human reason have in this world, really, after you'd seen what war could do to it? The lesson taught by the war was clear: to be human is to be small, powerless, and subject to the forces of randomness. Every veteran knows this."

-_The Evil Hours_, David Morris

* * *

_October 10th, 2007 _

_5:45 AM_

_Baghdad, Iraq_

"Shinomori, for the record, I am against this mission," Himura said over the radio.

"Noted, Himura, but I'll remind you that the record already _knows_ this, as we discussed your disapproval at length back at the base." Aoshi responded into his radio console, not happy to be hearing this complaint again.

"The record can never have too many reminders," Himura said dryly.

Sagara's voice cut in. "Oh, put a sock in it, Himura. General Yamagata was for it, so get your head out your ass and quit complaining."

"Well said, as always, Sagara. Do you need another reminder that I am your commanding officer?" Himura was laughing, though.

Aoshi tried to drown the two out, and focused his attention back on their surroundings. Their two trucks were currently moving quickly down a quiet and sandy street in southern Baghdad, in a neighborhood that until recently had been heavily bombarded by insurgents and the US army response. Things had died down in this area in the last few weeks, but not enough for Aoshi to be at ease. The street was of course deserted of people this early in the morning, the nightly curfew only recently lifted.

Though, most attacks occurred during the day. During the day, there were always more casualties.

"Nah, two times did the trick." Sagara's voice was still coming through Aoshi's radio headset, forcing his attention back to conversation in the other truck. "Besides, you're too fond of me to send me to the hospital for a third time."

"You never know with our dear Battousai, now do you?" chuckled Saitou, joining in. "But if he doesn't do it, I might yet."

"You'll have to go through me, Saitou. Sagara is my pet project, after all." Himura sounded amused, but Aoshi certainly didn't doubt that he would go through with his threat. Though the two men were of almost equal rank, and though they worked very well together, their relationship was still strained.

"Can we focus on the mission?" Anji said. The large and somber man was the only one of Himura's group that ever expressed a desire to be more serious.

"Oh calm the fuck down, Yūkyūzan. We still have 10 minutes before we reach the target." Chou said. Aoshi thought he could recognize Kamatari's high laugh and Usui's low chuckle crackling over the radio.

Aoshi scanned the terrain again. Other than a few stray dogs, and trash and sand blowing in the wind, there was no movement to be seen around them. The air was starting to glimmer, with the rising sun almost breaking above the rubble of buildings ahead of them.

Even this early, the heat was unbearable.

"Anji, you worry too much! You need to lighten up." Sojiro added, most likely smiling his beatific and unreadable smile.

"That is clearly impossible for him. He won't even be relaxed at his own funeral," said Saitou.

Aoshi sighed inwardly. He had worked with Himura's team on over a dozen missions by now, but he still couldn't appreciate their pre-skirmish banter. His own team operated with strict observance to protocol. All four were currently silent, checking the truck's sensors and looking for any early warning signs of an attack. Beshimi, Shikijo, and Hyottoko were not hiding their annoyed amusement at the others' casual talk; Hannya's face was as unreadable as ever, but Aoshi didn't doubt his displeasure.

He had been surprised to see Himura was so free with his men. And even more surprised to see that his second in command, Saitou, went along with it.

But they were the best at what they did.

Their two special ops teams had set out in the early morning, in two HUMVEEs disguised as standard delivery trucks. Their mission that morning was to strike an enemy hideout in the midst of the city that one their intelligence team had learned of only recently from an inside source. Himura was wary of this source, as they were a relatively new find; it wasn't that Aoshi didn't share his concern, but in his mind, this was too good an opportunity to pass up. General Yamagata and Captain Sozo apparently agreed with him, as they had signed off on the mission, ruling out an air strike, since the hideout was in a heavily populated zone.

They continued to roll down the narrow, sandy street, passing the haphazard buildings that made up the city's new landscape. Though Aoshi had been in this neighborhood many times before, early in the morning, in the eerie half light, the mixture of recent repairs and hollowed out ruins, the remains of once beautiful buildings, and general sense of decay was put in relief by long shadows and dusty haze.

They were five minutes away from their destination, when Himura spoke into the radio again, but this time, his voice had dropped, to the tone he only took on when deadly serious.

"Shinomori, I have a bad feeling."

"Himura, I understand, but…"

At that moment, everything around Aoshi flashed white.

The next thing his mind was able process was the ringing sound in his ears, as his eyes fought to understand and react to what was happening in front of him.

Somehow he was no longer in the truck; he was somewhere on the ground, unsure what had happened to cause that. _How…_ he felt his heart beating loudly in his chest and his eyes focused in on the shapes in front of him.

Men were shouting.

As soon as he comprehended that, the rest of the sounds he was hearing came rushing in.

There were shots being fired around them, and crunching from boots running over broken glass and metal. But the shouts were distracting him, keeping him from understanding what was going around him, his mind slipping between thoughts. He needed to move, or… he needed to find his men, or… he needed to be _gone_. Not _there_. Anywhere else but there, a panicked voice yelled inside him, while the rest of his mind vainly attempted to latch onto a course of action.

Everything around him seemed to be going at a unbelievably slow pace, the yelling and shots firing in slow-motion. He started to notice the smell in the air, the smell of diesel and fire, of smoke… and burned flesh. Yes, that was a smell he recognized, a smell his mind latched onto. He couldn't mistake that smell, not after the past year…

A buzz flitted through his ear. It was a voice. Someone outside of himself was speaking.

"Captain. _Captain. _We need to get you out of here." Hannya. That was Hannya's voice, Aoshi knew that voice.

"Hannya. What, where…"

"Our truck hit an IED. You've been injured. We're going to get you to Himura's truck."

Once he heard Hannya say the word 'injured,' Aoshi's mind registered for the first time that he was in pain, that his legs were searing from shards of metal, debris from their exploded truck, that had become imbedded in them. _I won't be able to run…_

The ringing in his ears roared louder for a moment, then faded. He hissed out in pain, and suddenly, everything sped up around him.

He watched as men from Himura's team fired on a group of insurgents who were leaning out of the windows of the building to their right. Aoshi managed to turn his head away, feeling his head throb from the movement, and saw that Himura's truck hadn't been hit.

Hannya and Shikijo were crouching next to him, behind the twisted wreckage of their own truck. Aoshi tried to call out directions to them, but his voice wasn't quite working.

"We need to get him to the truck," Hannya was shouting.

"You got a plan?" replied an angry Shikijo.

Aoshi tried to speak again. "We need… cover…"

"We're on our way." Himura's voice came over Aoshi's radio. Somehow… somehow his radio was still working, his headset still on his head. Aoshi closed his eyes, attempting to still the adrenaline flowing through him.

BOOM.

Another blast, this time between the two trucks…

"Fuck fuck FUCK!" Sagara screamed.

"Sano!" Himura was yelling. Aoshi realized he was hearing both of them in reality, not over the radio… A wave of pain washed through him again, and he bowled over, unable to keep his eyes open.

"Let's go." Hannya's voice said.

There were more shots, more stomping of boots on shattered glass, but Aoshi could barely focus on anything but stilling his beating heart. It felt like it was about to explode.

Suddenly he felt an arm lifting him up, throwing his arm around a diminutive frame… It was Himura. Himura was half dragging, half carrying him, crouched forward to support his weight. Aoshi managed to open his eyes, and saw that Himura had a limping Sano leaning on his other side. Sano seemed to have been hit in the arm, as well as a leg. The blood from the wound on his arm stood out sharply against his dark brown skin. _The idiot, just a twenty year old kid, practically a boy still…_

"Saitou! Get Shinomori in the truck!" Himura yelled.

Where were his own men? Why weren't they speaking up?

Somehow the three of them reached Himura's truck. The rest of Himura's team seemed to be there, with only minor injuries… Except for Usui, who was bleeding from his head…

Himura put him down, and the change in position caused Aoshi's head to spin. Just before he blacked out, he looked back out over the now quieting street, seeing the bodies of several enemy fighters, as well as… _no… his men, all of them… _

The image seemed to sear through his brain, flowing straight from his eye to the back of his head and all throughout his consciousness. Beshimi and Hyottoko were barely discernable among the half-destroyed vestige of their truck, seemingly killed by the IED blast. He saw—or maybe he projected—looks of terror on their faces.

Shijoko lay where Aoshi himself had been, not moments before, riddled with bullets… and Hannya, Hannya was a few feet from there, lying atop his rifle, looking like a rag doll slumped on the ground after being dropped. Their faces weren't visible, but their bullet-hewn bodies… blood was pooling around them…

_What have I _done_?_ Was his last thought, as he collapsed, to think no more.


	2. Chapter 2

Posting a second chapter, because the first is more of a prologue.

* * *

"The governing principle with social traumas seems to be that the greater the intimacy, the greater the "dose."… These crimes, which are in essence interpersonal crimes, reflect the degree to which post-traumatic stress, a disorder that is so often viewed as a problem of neuroscience, is perhaps better thought of as a social wound, a damaging of the intricate web of relations that keeps a person sane and tethered to the world."

-_The Evil Hours_, David Morris

* * *

_October 18th, 2014_

_Saturday, 9:45 AM_

_Washington, DC_

"… I really am sorry, but with Megumi off and now Dr. Oguni's kids are sick…" Uramura said, truly sounding apologetic.

"No, of course, I totally understand. This is your patient anyway, you need to be there." Kaoru hoped that she sounded sincere.

"Thanks. You'll apologize to Megumi for me?"

"Don't worry, she'll probably be relieved you're there in her place."

"Thanks for being understanding, Kaoru. I'll see you at Megumi's next thing, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, good luck today! Bye!"

Kaoru had managed to fight the urge throughout the call, but finally allowed herself a small groan after hanging up. She couldn't really be mad at Uramura, with such a good excuse as being called in last minute, and they had both been very clear that they were just going as friends. It wasn't like she could claim to be overly disappointed that he couldn't make it.

It was just that she had been so looking forward to not going to the wedding alone.

_Man, this is just… why can't I just get my act together? I shouldn't be this insecure, it's not like having a date is going to make that big a difference anyway… and it's, it's been months!_

Cringing at her own awful advice, she slowly breathed in and out as she tried to remember what Megumi had told her yesterday, about keeping things in perspective, and not holding it in. _You don't have to be in control yet, you know better than most that it takes time to get back on your feet._

It was just, what had happened a few months ago…

No, she held firm to the wall she had built up within herself. She would not relive that today, not right now, not again. The images swirled in her head, but she desperately clawed for distraction… Yes, the phone. The phone was still in her hand.

She hesitated for a moment, but dialed Megumi anyway. It was selfish to bother her again with her insecurities, today of all days, but she needed to talk to someone. And Megumi had even chided her just last week about it being okay to be selfish sometimes. Megumi picked up on the first ring.

"Hey Kaoru, what's up?" Megumi sounded frazzled, with a hint of _this better be important _in her voice, and Kaoru could hear bickering voices and various blow-dryers and bathroom sounds through the phone.

"Uramura can't m-make it." Kaoru said, midway through realizing speaking out loud that her voice was shaky. _Ugh, could I be a more pathetic friend right now? _She managed to stop herself from just thinking "pathetic" alone, which she supposed was progress.

"Oh no — the Kujiranami surgery? I thought Gensai was taking that."

"Suzume's re-eally sick, he c-can't do it."

"Kaoru, I am so sorry, I know you really wanted someone to go with. I feel awful…"

"It's okay, I kn-know this is a bad time. I just figured I should let you know." She was regaining control, putting together the pieces of who she wanted to be, her mind latching on to the thought _Megumi doesn't need this_.

"Any time is fine, Kaoru, you know that. And I know, I know you keep saying you've been making progress these last couple months, but it's okay for things to still be rough. Let me think for a minute."

"I-I don't want you to be bothered with this today."

"Kaoru. You are going to have fun, damn it. I absolutely _forbid_ you from having a bad time. So please don't worry, I have an idea. You'll be at my place by noon, right?"

"Ye-eah. I will. Thanks, Megumi."

"Anytime. Seriously. Now I have to go break up a fight over some spilled conditioner or something *STUPID*." She directed the last word to whoever was yelling on her end of the phone.

Kaoru had to smile at Megumi's stubbornness. She wasn't sure what she had done to deserve such a great friend, but knowing Megumi was so supportive made her feel a little better, and helped her gather her resolve. _Kaoru, you can snap out of it, for today at least. Time to get ready._

* * *

_Friday, 11:45 PM (the night before)_

Kenshin heaved a huge sigh of relief as his army duffel bag turned the corner on the baggage carousel. With all the headaches of this trip, he was actually a little surprised his bag had made it. _Especially considering that on the trip out, my bag did not show up for weeks, and when it did, it was missing a few items…_

He swung the bag over his shoulder and picked up his small knapsack. Now to make a decision. He had last talked to Sanosuke a week ago, to let him know that while he had purchased tickets to come back to the States, he didn't know if he would actually be able to make it in time. He had left Sano a message from an airport (he couldn't even remember which one), but that had been yesterday at least. The trip had taken over _three days_, between the truck dying on the side of the road outside of Karachi, and his wait at customs while some minor issue with his travel documents was fought over, and the delayed flights due to bad weather...

He was utterly disoriented and filthy, but he was here, back in his own country, with no plans to leave it in the foreseeable future. Home, he supposed. Though that was a charged notion, to say the least... He certainly didn't _feel _at home, not here, in the airport, under the fluorescent lights, amidst the brightly colored toothpaste and car insurance ads, the other travelers milling around in their khaki shorts and baggy t-shirts. It all looked more foreign to him than anything he had seen the last few years.

For the longest time, he hadn't felt like he had a home anywhere.

He took a moment to settle himself, knowing he was something of a mess. He was tired, tired in body, and in spirit, but somehow… still hopeful. He had been building up enthusiasm for his return for months, time when he would be able to rest with his friends. _Sanosuke deserves so much happiness, and if everything he's told me about his bride is true, he's certainly found it._

He walked over to the pay phones near the taxi exit. _Thank god they still have these. _He realized he had no quarters, of course, nothing but crisp new twenties he'd gotten from the money exchange before leaving Karachi. Looking around him, he saw a middle aged woman up ahead, who at the very least was not rushing by, or looking down at their phone.

"Excuse me?"

The woman looked over, and after a moment of taking him in, gave him a very strange stare, indicating her lack of interest in his approach. She seemed to lean away, but then her eyes caught on his backpack, the words "army" emblazoned in gold and black letters.

He spoke quickly. "Is there any way I could have a quarter? For the phone?"

"Of course, not a problem." She gave him a half smile, pulled out her wallet, and handed him a couple quarters. He smiled back at her, and quickly turned back to the pay phones, wanting the interaction to be over.

It would take some getting used to, speaking to normal people again.

He pulled out his notebook, flipping through to the back where he had scribbled important travel information, and finding Sanosuke's number, punched it in.

Sanosuke picked up on the fifth ring. Unsurprisingly, he did not sound pleased.

"Who the _hell_ is this? If it's the caterer or something, you'd better not be bothering me at midnight the night before with some problem…"

"Hello, Sano."

"Kenshin!" Sano's tone immediately brightened. "Gawd, you sure like to cut it close! Where are you? You in town?"

"Yes, at the airport. I am sorry for the late notice, it has been an interesting trip."

"Nah, don't apologize, I knew you'd show. You're dependable like that. But I do admire you getting here at the last minute."

"That was certainly not my intention. Anyway, I know you are most likely tired and that you need to be fresh tomorrow, so I thought I would just let you know that I am in town and I am checking in to a motel—"

"Are you kidding? You, Katsu and I are getting a drink, then you are staying with us at Katsu's place. Get in a cab and we'll meet you at the old pub."

Kenshin had to laugh.

"And your fiancé will not be angry when you are hung over tomorrow?"

"Pssh, she's always mad at me for something. But if you're so worried I'll tell her you just got to town, and that you're in charge of keeping me sober enough to get married tomorrow."

"Sano—I would like to make at least a decent impression. I doubt this will help."

"Kenshin. This is a girl who is marrying _me_. She's gonna love you. You are basically me with manners. And red hair."

"Hah, I can think of a_ few_ more differences. But if you are sure…"

"Of course I'm sure. It's practically army-buddy _law_ that when one you haven't seen in _two years_ shows up you gotta get a drink together. Hell, if I can, I might even make Aoshi and Hajime come out."

"Since when are you and Hajime on speaking terms? In any case, I highly doubt they are as free at midnight as you are."

"Hey, well, at least _I _am unencumbered for one night more. Now get in a cab already."

Kenshin smiled. "Aye, aye captain."

"You were the captain. Or lieutenant, or whatever. I was always bad at remembering ranks and all that."

"Which is why you got out faster than I did."

"Well, part of the reason. Anyway, stop stalling. We have a wedding to go to tomorrow, dammit."

Kenshin shook his head as he put the phone down. He definitely didn't deserve such a good friend as Sano. But he had one, so he had best get his energy up for a couple more hours at least.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews! And belated thanks to ambereyedgirl and mymanicmarie for giving me some early feedback on the story. Yup, I'm posting this one... We'll see how this goes...

To Angelica chibilua, I usually agree with you! But I wanted to write a modern AU story where Kenshin and the other characters still have the basic thread of their backgrounds included, and to do that, I wanted to set it in a place I'm familiar with (aka, modern US).

To MadFialka, yes, PTSD is very hard to write about, and I won't lie, I feel a little presumptious here. However, it's certainly a topic I'm passionate about, and it's such a core part of the _Rurouni Kenshin _story. I find it difficult not to include it, in any story about these characters.

To everyone else, thanks for reading! I hope you like this chapter.

* * *

"For a survivor time often takes on an almost circular quality; life moves forward, but one reencounters memories of one's loss over and over again, finding its fingerprints in situations seemingly unconnected to the past."

-_The Evil Hours_, David Morris

* * *

_March 30th, 2010_

_Tuesday, 6:30 PM _

_Boston, MA_

Kaoru was lounging happily in her favorite armchair with a cup of coffee and her psych textbook, when the door to the apartment was flung open. Kaoru looked up to see Misao barge in, wearing her workout clothes and covered in sweat, and then watched as Misao groaned and dramatically flopped herself down on the couch.

Kaoru sighed and set down her coffee and book. Clearly Misao had something she needed to vent. "What's the matter?"

Misao lifted her head off the couch and made a tragic face. "Banjin."

"Ah." Kaoru sat up a little straighter, the situation becoming clear. "What happened today?"

Misao flopped back down, and staring at the ceiling, started to gesture wildly with her hands. "He just refuses to leave me alone! I mean, we only went on a couple dates and now he seems to think that means he can harass me all during class."

"… Have you told him to stop?"

"Yes! Obviously! Ugh, men. But that's not the worst of it."

Kaoru nodded for her to continue; this was what she was best at, after all. Listening.

"He kept _insisting_ I was doing the choreography wrong, all afternoon. He just wouldn't fucking stop, and _he_ was definitely the one who was messing up, his turnout was all wrong…" Misao launched into a detailed description of _exactly_ how this guy had been making her life hell.

"But you know what the _absolute_ worst part is? Do you?" Misao suddenly picked up her head and turned to Kaoru. "He told me I should stick to the 'cha-cha' and give off ballet, that I wasn't 'suited for it.' Like, what the fuck?"

"He really said that?" Kaoru asked, though she wasn't terribly shocked; from everything Misao had said of the guy, he seemed your typical stuck-up privileged type.

Misao sat up, punctuating her words with jabs at the coffee table. "Yeah, and I was like, I'm not _Cuban,_ damnit, I'm _Puerto Rican_. Not that that even fricking matters. But he didn't care, of course. Racist prick."

"God, why the hell did I think it was a good idea to date a guy in my dance class?" Misao threw up her hands and sank back into the couch. "Like, there aren't that many straight guys, so it's not even that big of a possibility. But man, that was stupid."

Kaoru nodded sympathetically, biting back her tongue, mind racing as to what to say next. She'd alreadly told Misao as much, when she had first come home gushing about this boy. It wasn't like there were many men in her own Behavioral Health department, though Kaoru had certainly never considered dating any of them. And the guys she met with in her martial arts and defense training classes… Most were not the type she'd be interested in. Which given her busy schedule, meant she didn't really give dating much of a thought, at all.

"Are you going to moan all night, Misao? I'm trying to get some studying done."

Misao lifted herself onto her elbow, and Kaoru turned to see Megumi had ventured out of her bedroom and into the kitchenette, to refill her coffee mug.

"So _sorry_, Miss Med School. But if you'd had the kind of day I had..." Misao's voice dripped with sarcasm, but Kaoru could tell Misao was a little chagrined to see Megumi was home this early, and not still at the library. The two had been becoming fairly good friends in the eight months they'd all shared this apartment, but they tended to get into fights about noise… Misao did sometimes make an effort to be considerate, knowing how hard Megumi worked.

"Far be it from me to stop you railing against men; but are you just going to complain, or are you going to do something about it?" Megumi said, while walking over to join them in the living room.

"And what do you suggest I _do_? I've already told him off."

Kaoru cut in, knowing already what Megumi would say. "Tell your instructor, obviously, like I've been telling you to do for weeks. He doesn't have the right to control you like that. You have to put your foot down."

Misao sighed and laid back down. "And _I _keep telling you, the department is so cliquey. If I keep complaining, I'll probably never get a good role ever again…"

Megumi tsk-ed, but didn't say anything else for a minute, just tapping on her mug, as if thinking hard. Kaoru had already been over this argument with Misao many times; maybe Megumi would finally get through to her.

Finally Megumi stopped tapping and looked over at Misao, her characteristic sternness in her eyes. "Listen, Misao. You're not doing yourself any favors staying quiet."

Misao rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry, Megumi, but what do _you_ know about this?"

"Fine." Megumi's eyes flashed. "If must know… When I was in college, I let a guy I was dating take advantage of me, and by the time I realized how bad it had gotten, I was too afraid to say anything."

Kaoru looked over, surprised. She'd never heard anything about this before. Misao looked fairly shocked at this confession as well. "… What happened?"

"Well, he started out asking to let him cheat off my work, do his projects for him… and when I kept saying no, he started threatening me with some stupid things I'd done, mostly things that _he'd_ gotten me to do." She sighed. "He nearly got me expelled."

Kaoru and Misao just looked at her, shocked to hear this. That the "always perfect and perfectly-in-control" Megumi would have been blackmailed like that… "What did you do?" Kaoru asked.

"It got to the point that he tried to make me do something illegal, and I just snapped. I went to my advisor, and luckily she was sympathetic," Megumi said, matter-of-factly. To Kaoru, she seemed almost eerily calm, like she had rehearsed this speech many times. "She helped me switch classes, and in general stay out of his way. He was about to graduate anyway, so I guess he figured it was worth more to leave me be, than to try and get around her."

"He was blackmailing you, cheating, and he didn't get expelled?" Kaoru was still having trouble imagining how this could have happened, to Megumi of all people. Megumi, whom she'd known since she was four years old. Megumi, who had stared down boys twice her age by the time she was in middle school. Megumi, the most driven and focused person Kaoru had ever known.

Megumi sighed, and fingered her cup. "It was either neither or both of us, really… To this day, I regret that I didn't call him out earlier, before he got me embroiled in his crap. If my advisor hadn't taken my side… if he hadn't decided it was best to leave me alone… things could have gone very differently for me."

"I can't believe he didn't get punished. Men are pigs." Misao laid down on her stomach, her head between her arms, and mumbled, "Well, most men…" She mumbled something else, that sounded to Kaoru like "at least one."

_So that's where her mind is_, Kaoru thought. "Misao… if you're going to keep fantasizing about some boy from when you were ten... You'll keep going out with these jerks and never have a stable relationship."

Misao snorted. "You're one to talk, Kaoru, when's the last time you went on a date?"

Kaoru shook her head, hoping to shut that common refrain down. "Oh no, we're staying on you, right Megumi?"

Megumi hadn't taken her attention off Misao. "If you leave things be, let him stalk you and harass you… it can only get worse. Speak up." Her expression softened, and when she spoke again, there was even a little gentleness in her voice. "I know you care about dance, but it's only one part of your life. Don't let some ass make you feel like this, out of some tenuous fear of reprisal. It's not worth it."

When Misao sat up, she seemed a little misty-eyed. "You're right, of course you're right. I'll talk to the instructor tomorrow." Misao gave them both a small smile and brushed at her eyes. "Thanks, guys."

"Anytime," Megumi said briskly, indicating counseling time was over. Though Kaoru knew she was always there for you in a pinch, Megumi wasn't the best at receiving thanks.

Hoping to offer Misao some comfort, too, Kaoru said, "Anyway, I'm sure you're starving, after all that, so I'll make food tonight, alright? What do you guys want?"

Misao started, "You don't have to-"

"Takeout." Megumi said flatly.

"Assholes." Kaoru stuck out her tongue, but pulled up their favorite Chinese delivery service's website from her phone, anyway.

To think that Megumi had struggled like that… Kaoru shook her head. All the male attention she'd received of late had been most unwelcome; it had been easy to use her school work and other activities as an excuse to stay away from the guys she tended to run into. But that was fine with her.

* * *

_October 18th, 2014_

_Saturday, 11:45 AM _

_Washington, DC_

Kaoru felt much better after taking a long bath. Moreover, Megumi must have called Misao, because at 11 she showed up at Kaoru's front door, and insisted that they were going to get ready together. She'd even brought sandwiches, which, given the lack of food in Kaoru's house, was a major relief. Though all of it might have been planned well in advance; Megumi and Misao seemed constantly in sync with regards to Kaoru's whereabouts and needs these days.

Most of the time, Misao's presence was hardly calming, but lately Kaoru felt so relaxed hanging out with her. Her frenetic energy meant she could just let Misao take over the conversation and activities. People often couldn't keep up with Misao, but Kaoru was also someone who often took charge in a group. Letting someone else take the lead was a nice change of pace.

"So Aoshi was all embarrassed this morning, when I insisted he wear a light blue tie, since it made his eyes look so pretty."

Misao laughed from behind Kaoru, as she pulled and twisted Kaoru's hair in various ways, Kaoru seated in front of her first-floor bathroom mirror. Misao had always been good at hair and make-up, given her dance background, and Kaoru had to admit they both looked great in the bridesmaids dresses Megumi had picked out.

Kaoru smiled at the thought of Aoshi being embarrassed. She couldn't imagine Aoshi showing such an emotion, but she supposed Misao could make out tiny variations in his stony face.

"_Looking "pretty" is not my desire, Misao_." Her impression of him was expectedly awful. "Oh, he can be such a stuffed shirt sometimes, I just _love_ it."

"Misao, only you could talk to him like that. I guess that's why he likes you."

She supposed Misao got away with it because she had known Aoshi when she was little; he couldn't always have been so closed off, could he? Though Kaoru did had to admit he was growing on her, the more time spent time around him and all their other friends. It had been a big surprise two years ago, to find out her new friend Sano had been in the same unit with Misao's dream-guy Aoshi when they were deployed. Though of course it had been a bigger shock for Misao, who hadn't seen Aoshi since grade school. She'd practically jumped him at Kaoru's party, just as Sano began to introduce him.

"But you know, I had to tease him as much as humanely possible, since I was so nice as to let him leave last night to hang with Sano and the guys at a bar. He left at midnight and didn't return until 3 AM!"

Kaoru snorted.

"I'm not surprised at Sano, but even Aoshi? They couldn't wait until tonight to celebrate? I hope you didn't tell Megumi."

"Oh, don't worry about Megumi. She was fine with it."

Kaoru doubted that. She also doubted Misao felt as flippant about it as she sounded. She raised her eyebrow and looked into Misao's eyes in the mirror.

"Really? Both of you were fine with your partners going out late at night to drink?"

Misao didn't maintain eye-contact, and used a momentarily free hand to make a dismissive gesture.

"I mean, not _in general_, but it seemed important. One of their old friends just got in town. You know, the one they always talk about."

Kaoru had to think about which one she meant. That group of guys had a fascinating set of friends, mainly army buddies, some she had met in the past couple years, and some she hadn't yet. Some she would sadly never be able to meet, if she could read their tone well enough by now. After a couple seconds, she guessed Misao must mean the friend that Sano spoke of most fondly (since Aoshi rarely talked at all, as far as she could tell).

"Oh, you mean Himura? The one who's always overseas? The mysterious one?" Kaoru was actually surprised he would go out drinking that late. From the way Sano and Aoshi talked about him, she had always imagined he was a weathered, muscle-bound behemoth, as strict with himself as he had been with them. They had described him almost in hushed tones, their comrade who was the strongest out of all of them. And given her own profession, she had a pretty good idea of just how dangerous the lot of them truly were. But Himura… he seemed to be in a league all his own.

"Yup, him. I haven't even met him yet, and I would've tagged along, but it sounded like they wanted _manly bonding time_ or whatever."

Kaoru knew all about military life and the ways it formed bonds. Her father had been a military man, an officer at that. _Her father_…

No, today was about Megumi, and she needed to get a grip, and not think about her father's death, and all the bad things that had happened after it.

Misao paused in twisting Kaoru's hair about. She was scrutinizing Kaoru's face in the mirror, her usual smile faltering as if she could tell what was going through Kaoru's mind. _Time for some deflection_, Kaoru thought.

"Y-yeah. I imagine you would have been terribly bored, having to listen to them yammer on about old times."

Misao seemed to relax a little, and resumed twisting Kaoru's hair. "Oh, you love listening to them gossip as much as me. Especially when they get drunk and start spilling the good stuff."

"_Sano's_ the only one who ever gets truly drunk, and he is almost as willing to spill secrets when he's sober anyway." Though Kaoru had been happy to notice those drunken episodes diminishing, the longer Sano had been with Megumi.

"I guess that's true. In any case, we'll all finally get to meet Himura! Sano is even trying to get Megumi to let him use Himura as his best man."

"Without rehearsing?! I doubt she'll allow that. Besides, then _I'd_ have to be in charge of his movements, and lord knows I can barely walk in heels, let alone worry about where someone else is walking."

Kaoru saw Misao's smirk in the mirror. "Oh, I think it'll work out."

Kaoru knew that smirk. Megumi had_ definitely_ told Misao about Kaoru's call that morning. Kaoru supposed she had a good guess now as to what Megumi's "idea" was. She felt her stomach drop, and her fragile good mood threaten to darken. Kenshin Himura was the last person she could imagine as a date. Sure, she didn't know much about him other than a few stories from Sano, but everything she had heard made him sound like Aoshi's strict, even colder older brother. And he had to be, oh, a good 10 years older than her! That might sound all well and good to _Misao_, maybe even Megumi, but to Kaoru it would be worse than being alone. She could not afford to have a panic attack; Megumi and Sano shouldn't have to spend any more time today worrying about her.

But maybe she was reading Misao wrong. Misao rarely took time to properly think things through, and in any case, Megumi was quite a bit cleverer than both of them. Nobody ever really knew what she was planning.

Apparently she had taken too long with responding though, because Misao paused again, and bit her lip. "You feeling okay, Kaoru?"

"Yeah, of course, I'm fine." Kaoru plastered on a smile.

Misao sighed, and started talking very quickly. "I know you have shut this down several times but have you given any more thought to moving-"

"No." Kaoru cut in, her smile faltering. "No, Misao. I… please, let's not talk about that again. Please." Kaoru scrunched her eyes together, and sucked in a large breath. "Anyway, are you almost done back there? We should get over to Megumi's soon. I don't want to be late. Besides, I bet you want Tae to do your hair, I can only do ponytails."

"Sure… sure. Um, sorry." Misao gave Kaoru's hair a last twist, then suddenly wrapped her arms around Kaoru's waist for a quick hug. "I mean… I'll drive! Aoshi lent me his car, so we can go in style."

Kaoru stood and gave Misao's shoulder a quick squeeze, which Misao responded to with a big grin.

Misao driving was a blessing… that would give Kaoru some time to think about how to confront Megumi about her "idea."

* * *

_October 18th, 2014_

_Saturday, 12:45 PM _

_Washington, DC_

Kenshin woke up feeling surprisingly fresh. He was sleeping on a real bed, with clean sheets and an actual comforter. It had been a long time since he had slept on anything but a cot. He wasn't even terribly hung over. _Though we did not drink that much, for us at least; it ended up being much more festive than I would have thought_. Sano had managed to cajole everyone from their unit who was in town for the wedding to come out. Katsu, Aoshi, Hajime, even Anji, Chou, Sojiro, and Kamatari. They had all been incredibly glad to see him, though Hajime had snidely remarked he looked like a drowned cat that had been starved for months and maybe clubbed for good measure. That was almost friendly for him.

He must have been thrown in the shower last night, because he felt cleaner than he had in months as well. Glancing at his watch, he started, briefly taking a moment to make sure to adjust for the time zone. _Oh no, I only have three hours until the ceremony; I need to figure out where it is, and when I need to be there… Oh Christ, I also need to get my hands on a suit…_

He grabbed the bathrobe that Katsu had so thoughtfully left for him and quickly bounded down the stairs.

"Good morning, sleepy head! Feel like you exist in our part of the world yet?"

Sano was smirking, sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, fully dressed in a smart tuxedo, with even his corsage in place.

"Sano, you look great! Now, why did you not wake me earlier, and what should I do about getting ready?"

"Don't I just. Megumi's going to have a cow."

"Sano…"

"Ah, well, about you, no need to worry. Kamatari and I got you a suit and everything weeks ago. He said he had a rough idea of your measurements, and he made a couple of fixes this morning."

Kenshin was pretty surprised. Not about Kamatari, everyone knew about Kamatari and his, well, penchant for fashion, but… this was remarkably thoughtful for Sano. He felt there must be a catch somewhere in all this thoughtfulness.

"And other than that, we need to be over at the church around 2. The ceremony is at 3, and you need to learn where you are supposed to stand."

"Stand?" Kenshin asked, confused.

"Yeah, you're my best man, obviously. Don't worry, the maid of honor will be more than willing to show you the ropes. We definitely need to get there in time for you to be properly introduced to her, since she'll be your date for the evening, too."

"Wait, wait, best man, maid of honor, date? Sano, I really do not think… "

"It's the price you gotta pay for showing up late, Kenshin. I promised Megumi a huge favor in exchange for being out last night, and she just happened to have the perfect one ready this morning."

"Sano—" Kenshin couldn't help giving Sano a stricken look.

"Well, technically, me being there on time and looking smart was the price for last night. 'You being the maid of honor's date' is more about you being the best man. But they all kind of go hand in hand anyway."

"Sano—"

"I promise you, Kaoru's great, definitely your type. She technically introduced me to Megumi, too, so I owe her big." Sano's smile slipped, and he finally looked Kenshin in the eye. "Come on Kenshin, you're taking your first real break in years from that 'save the world' complex of yours-"

"_Sano_." Unbidden, Kenshin's voice took on a dangerous tone, which he could tell shocked Sano a bit. Kenshin took a deep breath, trying to calm himself.

Sano held his hands up in a show of contrition. "Okay, okay, sorry, let me back up a second." He sighed, and put his hands in his pockets. "I didn't want to ask you in case you really couldn't make it, I know you feel guilty about missing out on things. But… Kenshin, will you be my best man?" He glanced up at Kenshin with a vulnerable look in his eyes, and Kenshin had a sudden flash, back to when he and Sano had first come to know each other, before so many things, both good and terrible, had passed between them.

Kenshin felt a lump form in his throat. "Sano, of course I am _more_ than willing to be your best man. I am honored, touched even, that you would ask me."

Sano's face split into a huge grin, and he pulled Kenshin in for a hug. Kenshin squawked, both from the atypical display of emotion and worry about Sano's clothing.

"Oro, Sano, I do not want to ruin your suit."

Sano let him go quickly, a little embarrassed. "Yeah I guess you're right. But thanks, Kenshin, I'm really glad you made it."

"I am as well. I would not have been able to forgive myself if I missed this, truly." Kenshin paused for a second. "However, Sano… I do not believe I can be your friend's date, I do not think I am up for it yet."

"Oh, come on, you'll be fine! It's not like this is a _real_ date." Sano let out a big sigh. "Actually, you are more doing her a favor than anything else. She's had a really rough year, like, really rough, both in general and… boyfriend-wise. And her date fell through last minute. It's a long story, but she really needs someone to keep her company today. To make sure she feels safe and gets home in one piece. You get my drift?"

Kenshin could not say that he did, but Sano had actually taken on a serious tone, which was rare enough that Kenshin could guess there was something rather dark behind those words. It sounded like refusing might end up really hurting this girl… Kaoru's feelings, and she was obviously extremely important to both Sano and Megumi.

He sighed. He supposed he owed Sano for still being there for him, still thinking so well of him, after all these years, and one date was hardly that large of a price to pay. It had been over 5 years since he had lost his wife, five years of loneliness and regret, with any thought of women utterly impossible for him to even contemplate. A purely companionate date might be nice.

"Fine, Sano, fine. But you really should have asked me."

"And take away your beauty rest? Seriously, if you hadn't gotten all that sleep you might have scared the poor girl. You were a sight to behold last night. Luckily, Kamatari will be over soon with your suit, and… and to do something about your hair." He glanced up at Kenshin's currently rather unkempt red mane. "I guess now that you don't have to keep it short you have given up on cutting it ever again?"

"You're one to talk." Kenshin eyed Sano's hairdo, which he'd allowed to grow into finger-length, thick dreads.

"Hmph, you said it yourself, I look great. Anyway Katsu went out to let the caterers into the reception hall or whatever I told him to do, so we'll leave and meet him once you're all dolled up." Sano smirked. "Oh, and you should probably think of some sort of best man's speech. We all know you have such a way with words."

Kenshin could tell this was going to be an interesting day.


	4. Chapter 4

Again, thanks so much for the reviews! Onward we go...

* * *

"Women have always played a pivotal role in the drama of homecoming from war. In Homer's Odyssey, Odysseus's ten-year journey back from the Trojan War doesn't end when he sets foot in his hometown of Ithaca, but rather when he is finally reunited with his wife, Penelope. Men, left to their own devices, turn in to emotional nihilists: wild, cruel, and death-obsessed."

-_The Evil Hours_, David Morris

* * *

_March 20th, 2006 _

_5:45 AM_

_Fort Jackson, South Carolina_

Kenshin surveyed the new recruits and suppressed a sigh.

"Anyone look interesting to you, Himura?" Saitou asked, still keeping his eyes on the recruits currently working their way through the obstacle course. The man was practically twitching; without a cigarette he could barely function.

"Unclear at this point. One or two might do… but we'll see."

At that, one of the recruits he'd been considering dropped from the bars in exhaustion. Maybe not, then… Well, these physical challenges were only part of what they were looking for, in any case. They wouldn't know if there was anyone worth considering for their team amongst this bunch, until they talked to them.

The two men looked on in silence as the recruits started another circuit.

"First time back in the States in a year… going to go see that father of yours?" Saitou asked, still keeping his eyes fixed on the running men.

"Guardian. _Former_ guardian. And no." Kenshin tried to take on a light tone, definitely not wishing to discuss his "father" any further. Saitou was endlessly fascinated by the man (though most likely he just wanted to get a rise out of him), but Kenshin hadn't seen or heard from Hiko in four years. And he wasn't about to be the first to end that silence. "You going to see your wife?"

"She's arriving tomorrow." Saitou smiled, which just made his face even more terrifying. "She's excited to meet everyone."

"I'll bet." He definitely didn't understand how Saitou had the most stable relationship out of the men in their unit; though Kenshin had to admit that he was also the least capable of passing judgment, being the only one who was single.

They continued to watch, as two recruits vaulted ahead of the rest. One was a tall African American teenager, Kenshin looked down at his sheet, searching for his name… Sanosuke Sagara, it seemed. The other was about average height, white, and seemed to be in his early twenties. Chou Sawagejo. He was Kenshin's age, when he'd gone through basic training.

Four years… it had been about four years since then. And today… today marked four years since the US had invaded Iraq.

He'd graduated college early and enlisted as an officer, and had immediately been picked out for advanced training. Hiko's upbringing had certainly guaranteed that.

Such idealists…They all had been, all the recruits in that class. Gung-ho, full of patriotism and testosterone. Nineteen years old when the Twin Towers came down, when the Pentagon had been hit… He'd been frantic with fear that whole morning, skipping class and staying pealed to the television, trying to get ahold of Hiko; he worked in the Pentagon some days… And the damn man's cell phone was always off.

After that day, he'd felt it was his _duty_ to serve this country, his country, the country that had taken him in, when his country of birth had rejected and nearly killed him.

Well, _Hiko_ had been the one to take him in…

No. Hiko had made his choice. Kenshin couldn't save the man from himself, certainly not if the man was going to treat Kenshin like he was a child still.

The recruits started their third circuit. The two in front, Sagara and Sawagejo, had created a sizeable lead, distancing themselves from the rest of the group.

Kenshin's mind wandered again, thinking of the last couple years. Things had certainly changed, _he _had changed… and he did not know if it was for the better. Years of war, of deserts and bombings and death… and who knew how much longer it would last.

Kenshin was taken out of his thoughts by the sound of shouts behind him. Turning around, he saw that the two recruits in the lead had stopped running, and an argument was breaking out. The other recruits were slowing as they approached the pair, when the taller one, Sagara, grabbed Sawagejo's shirt.

"Well, we better go deal with that." Saitou cricked his neck.

Kenshin was already almost there, running as fast as he could to separate them.

"Say that to me again! Say it!" Sagara was yelling, as he pushed an equally irate Sawagejo on the chest.

"Recruits, what the hell are you doing?" Kenshin yelled, as he grabbed Sagara's shoulder and the forcefully yanked him backwards.

"And who the _hell _are you?" the man, no _boy_, growled back, and raised his fist.

Before he could bring that fist down, Kenshin pivoted his body and in a flash landed a hard kick to the kid's midsection, causing him to land in the dirt with a loud thud.

"Whoa. What a kick…" Sawagejo said, with a heavy East Texas accent.

To Kenshin's surprise, the Sagara kid immediately got up, though he was clutching his side, clearly in pain. But still, the kid's stamina was impressive… no one had ever been able get up that quickly after one of his kicks.

Just maybe, he'd found their next team member.

* * *

_October 18th, 2014_

_Saturday, 1:55 PM _

_Washington, DC_

Kaoru hadn't been able to corner Megumi to get her to properly explain her idea. Megumi had given her a huge hug when she had come in to her room, thanking her for being the best friend ever. And then she had immediately asked her to check on the flower delivery, since she hadn't heard from them yet.

Two hours and about ten chores later, Kaoru still hadn't gotten any answers out of Megumi. Luckily the frenetic pace of four bridesmaids, one mother, and various relatives and children running around Megumi's small apartment kept her thoughts almost entirely occupied. As the oldest out of the bridesmaids, Tae had taken control of trying to keep them all as occupied as possible, and Tae's little sister Tsubame arrived later and immediately joined her in the effort. Sano's sister Uki was adorable in her flower-girl outfit (even though she was 15, she was the only non-adult among their siblings), and did a good job of keeping her little brother Ota the ring-bearer, and all other children—and child-like adults—in check.

With five minutes until 2 PM, they headed out, in the few cars that they managed to find parking for in the city, Kaoru once again riding shotgun with Misao.

Megumi called Kaoru on the road, and asked that she run into the church to make sure Sano was safely out of the way, so Megumi could enter the church unseen. "Oh and Kaoru, Sano has some important instructions for you, so be sure to ask him about it."

Kaoru secretly was going to be very impressed if Sano was there on time, but refrained from saying that to her.

Misao dropped Kaoru at the main entrance to the church. She hurried through the front door… and ran straight into a man standing in the entryway. Unbalanced on her heels, he grabbed her shoulders before she fell over on top of him, holding her at arm's length.

The first thing she noticed about him was his hair. It was brilliantly red, long, and tied in a low ponytail. His bangs looked like he hadn't bothered to cut them in months, but that really only made him look more attractive.

This had to be because they framed one of the most handsome faces she had ever seen. He had large violet eyes, a small nose, and lovely, almost girlish lips. He was so good-looking, you could almost miss noticing the cross-shaped scar on his left cheek.

She realized she was staring straight into his face, as he seemed to be about her height. Blushing furiously, she took a step back and looked at the ground.

_He looks nice in his suit… he's very thin but his arms were strong…_

"I—I'm sorry, I should have paid more attention opening the door…"

"No need to apologize, I was at fault for standing so close." When she didn't say anything he continued. "I am acting as lookout for the bridal party."

"Oh, well, um, I guess I'm here to say the bridal party, well, um, we're…"

Kaoru realized she was babbling.

"Jo-chan!"

She looked up, relieved to see Sano coming towards her.

"Sano! Megumi sent me to clear the vestibule, she's coming in and doesn't want you all to see her yet."

"Sure, sure, I'll get everyone into the reception room. But first, Kenshin Himura, meet Kaoru Kamiya. Kaoru, Kenshin."

Kaoru turned her head back to the man she'd run into, barely able to contain her shock. He seemed a little taken aback by her expression, but she couldn't help it.

"Wait, _he's _Kenshin Himura? But.. but.. he's so.. so…"

Sano was smirking wickedly. "So what?"

"So… _cute!"_

Sano burst out laughing, while Kenshin gaped at her. She had never been so embarrassed in her entire life.

* * *

_Saturday, 2:05 PM_

Kenshin could not help gaping at Kaoru, who had turned a bright shade of pink, while Sano continued to cackle beside him. He could feel everyone else in the room's eyes on them, clearly curious as to what had set Sano off. _I will never hear the end of this from the guys…_

He was used to people thinking he looked cute, but it was not something he had expected a young woman to blurt out when first meeting him. He was 32 years old after all, and the past five years had been anything but kind to him. He thought he might have finally grown out of his girlish and youthful look by now. Apparently not.

"Sano, are you almost done?" Kenshin turned his attention to his friend, who seemed incapable of stopping his obnoxious laugh.

"S-sssh-ssure. Oh… man, ha, ha, Kaoru, you are.. just… classic…"

If possible, Kaoru turned even pinker.

"Sssaaannooo. Could you _control _yourself for once in your life?" She said in a huff, keeping her eyes fixed on Sano and pointedly turning away from Kenshin.

Sano took a moment to breath.

Kenshin used that time to continue taking in the woman in front of him. She had to be at least five years younger than him, maybe more. She was short, perhaps two inches shorten than him, but also lithe and athletic, her bridesmaids dress showing off her shapely arms and shoulders. Her eyes were a lovely shade of blue, her jet black hair beautifully arranged in an elaborate bun, and her face was altogether very pretty, especially when covered by her deep blush.

_And her skin was soft… _He abruptly looked away from her to Sano, to stop that inappropriate train of thought.

"Sure… heh… Sure. Oh man, I'm getting married in an hour… that was exactly what I needed."

Kenshin did not want to dwell too deeply on what he meant by that.

"Well. Sano, _in any case_, Megumi is coming any second and you all need to get out of the way."

Kaoru seemed to have regained her composure. Kenshin was impressed; it probably would have taken him longer to appear that commanding after being so flustered. Well, at least about the same amount of time.

"Yes, yes, I wouldn't want to face her wrath today of all days, I'm sure it would be the death of all of us. EVERYONE, let's move!"

All the groomsmen and other family members gathered in the vestibule took the cue and turned from watching the three of them to move over to the reception hall across from the chapel. Kenshin noticed that Kaoru followed them in. Once the doors were closed she pulled out her phone and dialed.

"Hi Megumi. Yes, yes, I got everyone out. No, it doesn't look like any other guests are here yet. Do you want me to come meet you in the dressing room?"

She turned pink again.

"I hadn't asked him yet, but I sort of have guessed at this point… Megumi… You could have…"

He didn't hear the rest of her conversation, because Sano started dragging him away over to the corner, where Katsu seemed to be teasing a teenage boy, both of them in groomsman's suits that matched his own.

"So?" Sano smiled at him.

"So what?" Kenshin was not going to play along.

"So what do you think?"

"Sano. If you do not tell me what you are talking about, I will not be able to answer." He had forgotten how difficult Sano could be some times. He could feel a migraine starting at the top of his head.

"Fine, fine, don't answer. Man, you've gotten even _more_ serious these last few years." Sano paused for a second, as if he realized he might have stepped over a line with that last comment, but then continued. "You and Kaoru should go over to the chapel so she can tell you what to do. I'll check in with the priest at the same time." Sano seemed to regain his bravado. "And you know, you two should feel free to talk about other things, such how _cute_ your new hairstyle is."

Katsu started snickering, and the kid seemed to be glaring daggers at Kenshin for some reason. Kenshin sighed.

"Sano, do not make me regret coming all the way across the world for today."

At that moment, he saw Kaoru coming back. He could tell she looked uncomfortable, probably still from her outburst. He hoped she would not be embarrassed for too long. It would be a excruciating day if she could not look him in the eye without blushing. _Well, as excruciating as being around a pretty woman all day could possibly be…_

"You okay Kaoru?" The kid walked past Sano and Kenshin to stand next to her, with a worried look on his face.

"Yeah, of course Yahiko. You and Tsubame had a good trip over from school?" She seemed like she was trying to take a light tone, and not entirely succeeding.

"I'm sure they did." Katsu smirked, and Yahiko reddened and turned back to yell at him.

"You be quiet. What's wrong with you?"

Kaoru cleared her throat.

"Um, Sano, Megumi said you wanted to give me some instructions."

"Sure, Jo-chan, let's three go over to the chapel, at least, if it's safe now." Sano nodded towards Kenshin, indicating he was the third he meant. The kid, Yahiko huffed a bit at that.

"Yes, I think they've brought everything in. I'll double check, though." She looked Kenshin in the eye for a second, and he thought he noticed a momentary look of distress in her face. It took him aback. He reconsidered what Sano had told him about her; he did not know what trouble she had had in the past year, but he did know she already seemed wary around him. Lucky for him, putting people at ease was practically his specialty at this point, and it appeared their friends had given him that task today. He would start by trying to make her smile. He imagined she had a beautiful smile. _Kenshin, now that is definitely not an appropriate thought._

He went to follow Sano and Kaoru when he felt a tug on his sleeve.

"Hey, Kenshin right?"

It was Yahiko. Up close he looked a little older, perhaps in college, and it seemed he was bolstering himself to say something.

"Yes, Kenshin Himura. I take it you are Yahiko, a close friend of Sano's? Very nice to meet you." He smiled and held out his hand.

"Sure, whatever." Yahiko lightly touched his hand and let go quickly. "Listen, Kaoru's my sister, alright? You better be nice to her. She's not at her best right now. But she can still break your arm if you do anything to hurt her. We'd do the rest."

Katsu gave Kenshin a meaningful look, as if he was backing Yahiko up on this one.

Just what had _happened_ in the past two years?

Kenshin took a deep breath. It had been an almost comically blunt thing to say, but he could tell Yahiko was entirely serious. His first vacation in years did not look like it was going to be as relaxing as he had hoped.

"Yahiko, I can assure you, it is my utmost desire to be nothing but kind and respectful to your sister. I do not know the particulars of her and Sano's connection, but I would do absolutely anything for a friend of his. If there anything I can do to help you make her feel more at ease today, please let me know."

Yahiko seemed a little surprised by that. "No, you're good. I just wanted you to know. She's… she's fragile okay? So don't be dumb." He mumbled.

"Okay, okay, I think we better let Kenshin go learn his moves here, Yahiko. Brotherly intimidation time over." Katsu took Kenshin by the shoulder and moved them both to the door.

"It was nice to meet you, Yahiko. You seem like an attentive brother." Kenshin smiled over his shoulder.

"Th-thanks." Yahiko paused. "I guess you'll do."

Kenshin definitely did not want to dwell too deeply on what he meant by that.


	5. Chapter 5

Moving on! I'm going to try and post the next chapter sooner rather than later, but I might switch back to working on my other story. And the weather is getting nice finally… Ah, the two to three weeks that count as spring where I live. Gotta live 'em up.

Oh, and in case you don't know (and googling acroynms can be a pain), a NGO is a non-governmental organization. Like OXFAM or ActionAid.

* * *

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."

_-Carl Jung_

* * *

_October 18__th__, 2014_

_Saturday, 2:15 PM _

_Washington, DC_

As the three of them walked into the chapel, Kaoru tried to look on the bright side. Her call with Megumi had confirmed her earlier suspicion that Sano and Megumi had conspired to make Kenshin her date for the day. But at least Kenshin Himura was about as… different from her uninformed impression of him as humanely possible.

_I guess Megumi and Misao must have known he was so different than the way the guys described him? Or did I just never really pay attention?_

She tried to make herself feel less mortified by her outburst. Heavens knew what he thought of her. At least if she'd called him handsome, or young, he would have known it was a compliment. Or if she had even said _small_ instead, she could have apologized and assured him that she was very impressed by everything she'd heard about him, covering the possible insult with a compliment. But _cute_, it just lied so perfectly between something no grown man really aspired to, and an admission of attraction. On top of that, it made her sound like she was 13 years old.

_God, he must think I'm such a nitwit. _He was probably dreading having to spend the day with her already. _I guess I could tell him being cute is a good thing in my book_. But she doubted she had the nerve to say that. And besides, she wasn't ready to feel that way about someone. Not yet.

Sano quickly abandoned them when it was clear the priest was off in another part of the church, so Kaoru set to work showing Kenshin what they had gone through at the dress rehearsal the day before. Of course, walking through the ceremony with him took no time at all, and they ended at the front of the chapel with 45 minutes to go. She could see through the chapel doors that few stray people were arriving in the vestibule, but none that she could make the excuse that she needed to speak with. They stood in silence for a few seconds, before Kaoru decided she had better start some sort of conversation.

"So… you got in from Afghanistan? That must have been quite the trip." She supposed talking about traveling would be innocuous enough.

"Yes. It was not one of my better traveling experiences, to say the least." He spoke with a light and open tone, seeming to be glad that she had started speaking.

"Any good stories?" she asked, genuinely curious. She knew he had been doing NGO work in the Middle East for years, and was actually very interested to hear about it. However, asking about it directly didn't feel like an ice-breaker kind of conversation… though he didn't seem to mind.

"Hm, if you count being stuck in the desert with a broken engine in 100 degree heat as a good story... But truthfully, it was more tedious than anything else."

"Sounds awful. You're a dedicated friend to make it all the way out here. I hope you have at least some time off before you have to go back." She gathered the courage to look at him.

He paused for a second, as if considering how to respond. "Actually… I just wrapped up my work there, for a while at least. Part of the reason I only arrived yesterday was that I was scrambling to finish all my projects and explain my role to my replacement."

And then he looked over at her with a half-smile, his lips curving up at the end.

It was rather distracting, looking at his lips. "Oh… that's fortunate." Kaoru hesitated, knowing this was always her least favorite question to answer. But she couldn't think of what else say. "Do you know what you're doing next?"

"Not really." His face broke out into a full, if rueful, smile. "I plan to stay in the city for now, and see what makes sense."

This smile displaced the edge of the faded scar on his cheek, as well as crinkling the corners of his eyes. She looked away, needing to focus on something, anything else. "Any particular reason to come back here?" She reddened at what was a somewhat silly question. "I mean, other than Sano and the other people you know."

"Well, that of course is a big draw. But I also spent my later childhood here, and I have good memories from that time."

"That makes sense." There was a pause while Kaoru tried to think of something else safe to talk about. He solved the problem by asking his own question.

"But what about you? I know almost nothing about you."

"Really? Sano never talks about me? Lord knows he never shuts up about the whole lot of you from his unit."

He laughed at that, a pretty sound, she had to admit. Soft yet solid at the same time. "I have unfortunately had less contact with Sano and all the rest than I would have liked for the past couple years. It is very difficult to keep in touch without a reliable phone or internet connection. Letters only convey so much."

"I suppose." It wasn't as if she didn't understand how difficult it could be to keep in touch with others, but that level of isolation? What had he been _doing_?

Perhaps noticing her musing, as he spoke up again. "But back to you: where did you two meet?"

Kaoru smiled. Sano always brought out that reaction in her. "That's a fun story. I'm not sure how much of it he wants me to tell. I've been debating it for my maid of honor speech for months now."

Kenshin's right eyebrow raised, and his expression lit up. God, his eyes were _violet_. A warmth reached them, when he talked about Sano. Much like her… "Oh? Now you _must_ tell me. As you say, he takes all forms of joy in accounting the sorry parts of our past. I can not imagine what those who do not know me must think if they have only heard of me from him."

Hesitating for a moment, she decided she might as well go ahead and explain her original reaction to meeting him.

"Well, from everything I've heard about you, I expected you to be something like a combination of Aoshi and Anji. Maybe with Hajime's sense of humor."

Kenshin laughed again. "You will have to meet the man who raised me some day. That does not sound too far off for him, at least."

Kaoru smiled back, as she felt an enormous relief to hear his laugh; he wasn't the type to mind a little teasing, then. "Maybe that's more how you were as a hot-blooded young soldier?"

His face froze for a second, his eyes flinching back from hers, but just barely; he immediately resumed a pleasant expression. Doubting for a moment if that was what she had really seen, Kaoru could tell that his time in the army wasn't a topic she should bring up again. _Well, I can understand why he wouldn't want to talk about it. I probably wouldn't want to talk about being in a war either… _

However, Kenshin seemed to have fully regained himself, so perhaps she _had_ just been seeing things. "Yes. That may be the case. However, as _you _may notice, we are still talking about _me._ I wanted to know something about you," he said, turning towards her.

"Well, what would you like to know?" she asked, hoping she sounded playful and carefree. Approachable. She found she _did_ want him to know her, at least a little bit, and so she turned to face him fully.

"I suppose we could start with what it is that you do that makes you most happy."

She looked into his eyes, and was momentarily made speechless by what she saw there. His eyes, and his _tone_ when he asked that, it was so sincere, so kind and… concerned. He really wanted to know.

"That's a rather unique question," she said, once she was able to speak again. She looked away and tried to add a little humor into her voice. "Most people start by asking what the other does for a living."

"Well, I have found that what people do for a living does not always go along with what makes them an interesting person. I like to give people the best opportunity to speak about something they enjoy, not something they might have… complicated feelings about." His lips twitched in a half smile again, and the thought of _that is how he looks when he's sad_ drifted through her mind.

"That is a very insightful observation." And perhaps too serious for a first conversation, but she found she didn't mind." I might have to steal your question-asking technique."

"I must confess I stole it myself," he said, amusement clear on his face. "However, we are continuing to sidetrack our conversation."

"Isn't that the sign of a successful conversation? Flowing naturally from one idea to the next?"

"Perhaps. But only if it is two-sided. If you do not like my first question, I can ask you if you like what time you wake up in the morning."

"Now that's getting deep into my psyche." She almost laughed, thinking of what Sojiro would say about divulging sensitive information. "It's alright, I can answer both. The second answer is easy: depends highly on how much sleep I got the night before. You can read all you like from that."

She paused to think for a moment. "The first answer; well, I suppose there are a lot of things I do that make me happy. I'm happy that I get to teach other people how to protect themselves; I'm happy that I spend most of my day on my feet. I'm happy that I get to meet amazing people every day and hopefully make their day a little better." _At least, that's what I _have _been happy about. It's hard to tell what makes me happy right now. _

"That is the best answer I have gotten to that question, that it is."

Kaoru blushed.

"But now I have to ask the less interesting question, of course. Where do you do these wonderful things?" he asked.

"Oh, I run the self-defense school my dad founded." She paused. It was always awkward to talk about this part of her life with new people, especially men. They so rarely had a response she found palatable. "And I work at a women's shelter."

"It sounds as if you have a very rewarding life." Kaoru was relieved by Kenshin's reaction, his eyes filled with admiration.

But suddenly she felt sadness surge up from deep inside of her, and the feelings and memories she kept bottled up ache a little to come out of her mouth. About how her dad had died without her getting to say goodbye. About how she hadn't listened to her friends, choosing to trust… _him _despite every hint she'd gotten that he didn't deserve that trust. How she _still _wasn't following her friends' advice, staying in a house filled with bittersweet and painful memories, that had been broken in to, her illusions of safety and comfort finally shattered. As they hadn't even fully been, by her father's death… as if she'd thought the memory of him could still keep her safe. When she knew better, had been _trained _differently, all her life.

But she took hold of herself again, looking away and managing to repress the urge to speak, and instead forced her mouth into the shape of a smile.

"Sometimes." She decided it was imperative to switch the conversation back to talking about him, before she divulged any of those memories, memories that _definitely_ should not be discussed with someone she had just met. "Well. Now we've talked about me. I want to know more about_ you_, and not the Sano-adulterated version."

"That is reasonable."

"And since I'm not as fortunate as you to have a question bank, I'll ask you the same two questions you asked me."

"Of course." He made a little half-bow, and swept his had towards her, mock seriousness only marred by the silly smile on his face. "It is a poor question asker who does not know the answers to his own questions."

She looked at him expectantly, catching his mood, feeling the tightness in her chest ease off again.

"For the second, I would say I yes, always. Sleep is my least favorite activity." Since he said it with a straight face, she just barely managed to keep herself from interpreting that too deeply. "For the first, I would try and say what you said as eloquently as you did, but fail. So I will simply have to steal that as well."

"That's not fair! You should have something better than that after asking it several times!" she huffed. After she had bared herself so honestly to him, he thought he could get away with that feeble reply?

"I should, but having a long time to think does not necessarily make an answer better."

"Sure, but still…"

"And since I actually asked three questions, I will also tell you where I do these things. Everywhere I can." He smiled at her, a sweet and open one, this time, and she found she couldn't be irritated at him. A smile that didn't seem tinged with any sadness…

She stared at him for another second, her heart skipping a beat. _He is so… adorable. And funny… And easy to talk to. Why in the world did Sano never tell me this?_

He noticed her reaction, though she hoped he couldn't read her exact thoughts. He made an apologetic face and rubbed his neck.

"I am sorry, I realize that was a strange thing to say."

"No, it's alright. I'm just trying to think how best to beat up Sano after today. He must purposefully give the wrong impression of you to everyone."

She blushed again after that. _That might have been a bit too honest._

Kenshin smiled at her again, and her heart skipped another beat.

"Sano can take a beating, that I know well. We will have to think of a better punishment. Though he told me that you introduced him to his Megumi, so perhaps you are already even?"

Kaoru steadied herself, and played along with his clearly joking tone. "'Introduced' is one way to put it. More like dragged him to be fixed up and berated by my good friend the surgeon."

"Then you are definitely even. If there is anything Sano hates most, it is medical care. I have seen him avoid treating his wounds until they are positively frightening."

"You don't have to tell me. If it weren't for Megumi, he'd probably have no limbs at this point. He should be more grateful to me."

"I am sure he is very grateful." Kenshin got a wistful look in his eyes. "He looks happier now than I have seen him in a long time."

"I've noticed it a little too. Though I only met him right before Megumi did." She paused. "But they are really good for each other."

"I am glad to hear it."

Kaoru realized something. "Wait, you haven't met her yet, have you?"

"No, unfortunately not. Though I have spoken to her, and seen a picture of her. Sano sent me a set of pictures from a party last Christmas."

"Oh, that party! That was right after they got engaged… I can't remember a time when Megumi looked happier, other than maybe her med school graduation…"

"You have known Megumi for a long time?"

"Yes, since we were kids. She was a couple years older than me in school, but I always admired her. Well, admired and envied her a little bit. She, Misao and I became friends in college."

"Misao is the girl… that Aoshi is dating, yes?"

Kaoru giggled. "Ha, most definitely. _That_ is quite the story, as well. I guess you could say Aoshi owes me, too." _Well, it is hard to tell, but considering how happy Misao has been since they finally started dating, he must really care for her. Though Misao probably would have tracked him down eventually, even without my unintentional help._

"It seems that I have missed a lot by being out of the country the last few years."

There was that sadness again, mixed with wistfulness, and regret. She realized why she had recognized it. It was probably how she sounded, thinking over her regrets and mistakes from the past year. She felt a wave of compassion for this man, someone she still barely knew.

But even if she didn't really know him, only knew the vague outlines of his character, and that he had beautiful eyes and a soft laugh… she already knew was that she could trust him. She trusted Sano, and even Aoshi, Hajime, the rest, more than any men she had ever known, other than her father. And when she thought about it, they had only ever spoke well of Kenshin. She may have focused on other aspects of their description, but the one thing that was clear was that he was someone on whom you could depend entirely. She wanted him to be at ease, to be happy to be back among his friends.

"I can tell, everyone is so happy that you're back." She gave him a reassuring smile. "And for the rest of us, we are easy to get to know."

She colored and averted her eyes, feeling again her honesty may have been to much.

"I mean… I mean I am sure you will hear more than you wish of the past few years tonight."

"Will I?"

"And.. and I will _bet _you, by the end of the night, Misao at least will claim you and her are best friends." _I mean, she does that to everyone, once she's had a couple of drinks… and I know for a fact she is itching to meet him._

When she looked up at him again, he was smirking.

"A bet? What is the wager?"

"Oh, I don't know, a drink?" That would be simple enough.

"Then you are on. If you win, I will buy you a drink. If I win, you will buy me one."

He held out his hand for her to shake.

"O-okay, that sounds alright." She accepted his hand. It was calloused and rough, and his handshake was firm. She felt a shiver go up her spine from his touch. Feeling warm, she went to pull away, but found he wasn't letting her go just yet.

"Of course, it will have to be some other day. Sano would never have anything other than an open bar, that I know."

She hadn't really thought of that. _Does he mean…_

"That is, if a _handsome _girl such as yourself would not mind being escorted by an old man like me a second time?"

Her mouth gaped open. The way he said handsome, and the twinkle in his eyes as he said it, left her with no doubts about what he was referring to, or how he meant it to be taken. _I guess he wasn't insulted that I called him cute…_ She felt a true blush come to her face. She was about to… she didn't know what. Luckily, at that moment her phone started ringing.

_Oh thank god… _"It's Megumi."

She supposed Kenshin must have noticed her discomfort, because he immediately released her hand. She hoped he didn't think she was frightened of him, because she was… well, she was… not truly frightened… it was worse…

Definitely the worst case scenario. She was attracted to Kenshin.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi guys! This one's a bit longer than normal, because I think it might take me a bit longer to update next; I've got big plans this weekend, that'll probably knock me out for at least a week. If not longer. Woooo! Thanks for reading, everyone!

Also, **Izwick**, I'm so glad you noticed! My obsessive removal of contractions wasn't in vain...

Hope you enjoy this chapter, things will (hopefully) start to become clear soon.

* * *

"Posttraumatic stress disorder is not necessarily indicative of an absence of psychological growth and maturation... Different types of outcome cannot, therefore, be conceptualized as two ends of the same continuum; they are not necessarily characteristic of two different types of individuals."

-_The __Evil Hours_, David Morris

* * *

_July 20th, 2012_

Friday, 7:45 PM

_Washington, DC_

"You don't have to be nervous."

Sano glanced over at Kaoru, standing next to him in the crowded train, and sighed. He thought he was doing a better job of hiding his emotions today. "I'm not nervous, why'd you think that?"

"I promise, my dad isn't that scary."

He didn't like her grin. She was teasing him, he could tell.

"Trust me, Kamiya, I've met _much_ scarier people than your dad. I'm not nervous."

"Oh? Then why are you twitching? Unless it's for some _other_ reason." She poked him in the side.

Of all the girls he'd ever met, this one was the most persistent. "I'm not twitching."

"You most certainly are."

"Look, I just don't like the subway, okay? The crowds, the swaying, it's just not my thing."

"Seriously? What's wrong with you?" She elbowed him lightly, but it still caused him to almost bump into the man standing on his other side. "You grew up here!"

"Yeah, but I had a car…"

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "But get it together, Sagara. I have enough weird friends; I don't want to have to explain away another one."

Sano grunted at that. Anything to get her to leave it be.

When after their sparring club had wrapped up for the night, she'd asked if he'd like to come over for dinner, he'd been ambivalent; fathers weren't his favorite, especially with someone he just met.

And considering _how_ they had met… Well, it could go one of two ways. Either her dad would be impressed he'd knocked out three guys, who'd been threatening his daughter, or he'd be lumped in with them. Most dads didn't want their daughters hanging out with the kind of guy who'd start a bar fight, regardless of the reason why…

"My dad and I can't cook, so Megumi has been coming over a couple times a week to feed us." She'd oh-so-lightly stressed the name, _Megumi_.

That _was _her name. Dr. Takani, she'd acidly told him to call her.

"Misao usually joins, but she just texted me saying she couldn't make it tonight, so if you'd like to come…" Kaoru'd said it with a casual tone, but clearly she wanted him to accept.

"Fine, fine, I'll come." He wasn't really sure why.

Okay, he knew why. Dr. Takani had sneered at him, at his mangled hand and disheveled clothes.

Her sneer had softened slightly after Kaoru stood up for him and asked her to take it easy. But then… him and his big mouth. He'd said something, then Dr. Takani ahd said something worse; they started throwing insults, and that look of judgement hadn't left her eyes.

Except for a moment, a single moment. Kaoru had left the room and Dr. Takani had looked away from him as she was finishing wrapping his hand. "Thanks."

The retort to her previous jab died in his throat, and he stared at her, confused. Even in profile, she was one of the more striking women he'd ever met… "Thanks for what?"

"Looking out for Kaoru. She can take care of herself… but sometimes she gets in over her head. So thanks." She met his gaze for a second, and he could see something small and vulnerable hiding behind the scorn. And then she had tugged tightly on the end of the bandage, tucking it closed and sending a sharp throb through his arm.

"Ow!"

"Geez! I barely touched you. This is our stop." Kaoru's hand on arm took him out of his memories.

"You just startled me, that's all."

She rolled her eyes again. "Oh-kay, Mr. Cat-like Reflexes. I'll be more careful in the future."

"Good."

She stuck his tongue out at him. _God, it's like hanging out with my little sister._

It was only a couple blocks to her house, she said, just up the main hill off the Petworth stop. He knew a little of this neighborhood; a friend from high school had lived there, he remembered. They trugged up the hill, stopping in front of a large, beautiful three-story building on a busy street, nestled comfortably between a coffee shop and a chiropractor, across the street from what looked like a health center called "Martha's Place." The storefront on the first floor was taken up by a gym, it appeared. She'd said her father ran one…

"Damn. Nice digs." Well. Maybe he _should_ be nervous. All this, just for her and her dad? His family had shared a two-bedroom apartment. Growing up he'd thought that was fairly roomy.

"Thanks." She blushed, and seemed somewhat uncomfortable. "My dad got this place like twenty years ago, back when everything around here was pretty cheap. We just stuck around."

They went along the side of the house, and entered through the back door. Once they were inside, Kaoru called up the stairs to the second floor, "Hey Dad! I'm home!"

"Ah, Jo-chan, welcome home!" A gruff, older male voice called back.

"Jo-chan?" Sano whispered to her.

Kaoru grimaced. "Yeah, it's his pet name for me." Then she turned to him, and grabbed his arm again, pulling him up the stairs. "Well, come on!"

Kaoru's father was a fit, stern-looking, middle-aged Japanese man. He was seated at a small dining room table, set with four places, and was reading the newspaper.

"Dad, this is my friend Sanosuke. You know, from the sparring club."

"Ah... It is good to meet you, Sanosuke Sagara, correct?" Koushijiro looked up from his paper, shifting in his seat towards them.

"Sano, Mr. Kamiya." He held out his hand, and Kaoru's dad stood and shook it. "Nice to meet you, too."

"Koushijiro is fine." He sat back down, and gestured for Sano to do the same.

"I'm going to go change real quick," Kaoru said. "I'll check in on Megumi too." She left the room, giving Sano and encouraging smile as she went. He nodded back, and slowly sat down in the seat across from Koushijiro.

They sat quietly together for a moment, before Koushijiro spoke. "Kaoru has told me you were in the army?"

"Yessir. For about two years."

"And you were deployed until recently?"

"Uh, no… I left over three years ago."

"I see. And what are you doing now?"

Sano was silent. _Well, here might mark the end of _this _friendship. _

He felt that pit in his stomach, the one that started deep down, and after stewing there for long enough, it would push up from inside him to burst out in a fit of rage or anger or _something_, something that would usually end in a lost relationship, or job, or an ending of some sort. And ending that, if he was honest with himself, he'd probably wanted all along.

Kenshin had told him, a few months before, that the pit would be the end of him. That he better find something worth holding on to, and quick, if he didn't want to end up in a place Kenshin couldn't rescue him from. _I _know_ Kenshin, but what is that? Where do I find something that doesn't remind me of… of everying? How do I _start_?_

Kenshin'd laughed, and told him he'd let him know when found it for himself.

But Kenshin'd left him with some money and some good advice, before leaving to whatever he felt _he _needed to do.

_Start over. Go to school. Get some hobbies._

_Go to therapy._

He'd followed that advice, and things were looking better, or so he thought. But here, in this house, with these people…

He didn't belong here.

Koushijiro was just stared at him, with those father-eyes that refused to let him look away. Eyes that demanded respect and insisted on the truth. That already saw straight through him.

"Honestly, sir… not much." Sano coughed before speaking again. "I mean… I travelled around for a while. You know, odd jobs and that kind of thing… I moved back here last year. My dad's a mechanic out in Silver Spring, and I've been working for him part time." He finally looked down at his hands. "And I'm thinking about going to school this fall."

"Thinking?"

"Yeah. I figure… I should have an idea of _what_ to do, you know, after. I haven't decided, yet."

"I see." Koushijiro picked up his newspaper again. "Well. Sounds like you're on the right track."

Sano didn't know what to say to that, so he made a affirmative hum.

After another moment, Koushijo looked up from his paper. "You know, Kaoru used to bring home stray cats all the time, as a girl."

"Stray cats, sir?" Sano had an idea of where this was going, but still, he was wary.

"Yes, any she'd find. Kittens, old things that were on their last leg, scrawny ones that would scratch her all the way home. Every time she did, she'd beg me to let her keep it." He sighed. "I always had to tell her 'no'. Both of us are extremely allergic, you see."

"Sir…"

"When she was ten or so, she started getting sick, having colds and a runny nose almost all the time. After a week, I finally figured out why: she'd been hiding a kitten upstairs in her room."

Sano smiled, imagining a young Kaoru, sneaking scraps and cat toys to a kitten in her closet.

"She was terribly angry at me, when she came home and found it gone. That's her nature, you see, to try and help everything she sees, regardless of the cost to herself."

"… I see, sir." And Sano did. He'd already noticed that about Kaoru... and he wasn't gonna bother someone like her with his problems. "Well, I'm not a fan of cats. More of a dog person. They're dependable, right?"

Koushijiro's expression didn't change, but it seemed there was some amusement in his eyes, as he kept reading his newspaper.

"What are you guys talking about?" Kaoru bounded down the stairs.

Koushijiro smiled at his daughter. "Oh, nothing important. It's been nice talking to your boyfriend, Jo-chan."

Both Kaoru and Sano made choking sounds.

"Boyfriend?" Kaoru shrieked, while Sano shook his head wildly. "We're not…"

Koushijiro laughed. "In any case, it seems dinner is ready."

Looking towards where Koushijiro indicated, Sano saw that Megumi was in the doorway to the other room, wearing a frilly apron and an amused smirk.

_Damn, she's pretty…_

What was he getting himself in to?

* * *

_October 18__th__, 2014_

_Saturday, 2:35 PM _

_Washington, DC_

Megumi was a lot less stressed than she expected to feel at this point.

She was getting married. To Sano. In less than a half an hour. And she felt… calm.

She sighed. Sometimes the fact that she loved him so deeply that it ached made her want to punch him. How had she ever even started to fall for him…

Well. He certainly was roguishly handsome. And he would do anything for her, or someone she loved. He was one of the most dependable, and honorable, and brave… scoundrels that she had ever met.

Megumi smiled, thinking over the last two years with him. Two years that included many headaches, quarrels, and some of her happiest times. But…

Unbidden, a memory surfaced of the awful night a few months ago when Kaoru had shown up at her apartment door. It was by far her worst memory from the past year. Luckily Sano had been over, and was able to help her take care of Kaoru… _Kaoru, blood on her face, crying and shaking while she sobbed out what had happened…_

That was the other thing that should be ruining her calm today. She and Sano, and Misao, and everyone else in their tight-knit group of friends who knew at least some of the story, had been hovering over Kaoru for months now. Though Megumi would never have been able to do anything less, she had to admit it was painful, all the worrying they did over Kaoru. She also knew just how much Kaoru hated that all her friends were so worried on account of her. Which made them all even more protective… _Kaoru hates feeling powerless most of all, I wish I could convince her to give us a little more of her burden. Taking some of her pain for her is so much easier than watching her suffer alone._

When she had woken up that morning, she was expecting the wedding ceremony to be full of stresses; her judgmental mother, who definitely hadn't warmed fully to Sano and his family yet, her aunts, who loved nothing better than criticizing every and any detail of the planning, and finally, her own desire to make sure Kaoru had as good a time as possible.

There was no way she could have anyone but Kaoru as her maid of honor. She had asked her well before, back even before Kaoru's father had died. Kaoru was her best friend, the one who introduced her to Sano, the first person she had called with the news.

But Kaoru was also brittle right now. Being in the spotlight, under a lot of pressure to help plan what was clearly a stressful event; until a few months ago, Megumi had been counting on Kaoru to help her through today.

Megumi knew she wasn't the most tactful person. She often lost her temper, often put people off by speaking her mind too harshly. When she tried to be flippant and lighthearted, she came across as calculating.

Kaoru also lost her temper all the time, spoke her mind all the time… but it seemed to draw people to her. Megumi loved that about Kaoru, the way she and her were so alike, but so… different.

She would do anything to see Kaoru happy again.

A few weeks before the wedding, she, Sano, and Misao had a long talk about what to do about Kaoru. She hadn't been to a large social gathering in months. Typically, Misao's suggestion was that they set Kaoru up on a date, which Megumi had scoffed at, but Sano had surprised both of them by agreeing with Misao. However, unlike Misao, it became clear that he already had someone in mind. Megumi had gone from surprised to sudden clarity when he told them who it was.

It wasn't the first time the two of them had talked about Kaoru's love life. Maybe two months into dating, they'd had a few drinks, and Megumi had finally gotten the nerve to ask Sano a question she had been wondering for the whole time she had known him: why had he pursued her, and not Kaoru? Sano had actually appeared thoughtful at the question, and thankfully had taken it seriously.

"Hm… to be entirely honest, I don't think I ever had an interest in Jo-chan, not like that." His face had taken on a sheepish look. "It's weird, but from the moment I met her, I kept thinking a good friend of mine would really like her. I guess I've always kind of wished I could introduce her to him. I know that's odd." His expression then deepened, into something that was just about as sexy as Megumi could take. "But once I met you, it wouldn't have mattered how I felt about anyone else, I would have gone after you."

Megumi didn't remember if he had divulged more, because the rest of the night was lost in a great deal of heated kissing. But a few months later, he'd mentioned that he had finally gotten his good friend Himura on the phone, and was relieved to know he was doing alright. By then Megumi knew who Himura was, not the whole extent, but she did know that Sano felt he owed him his life. The phrase "good friend"—not one Sano threw out very often, even about the friends she knew – had stuck in her mind.

The night he asked her to marry him, and she said yes, they had made a round of calls to all their friends and family. However, at the same time she started dialing Kaoru, he went and immediately started writing a letter. "To Himura," he had said breathlessly. It was in that moment she realized just how important a friend he was, if she hadn't know before then. A week or so later, when they were almost going to bed, Sano had gotten a call on his cell from a strange number, which turned out to be from the man himself. They had spent a good two hours on the phone, early on of which Sano had handed the phone to Megumi.

She had been surprised by the voice on the other end. It was lighthearted, and to be honest much more… feminine than she would have thought. They had had a very pleasant conversation, and she had been impressed by his obvious intelligence and charm.

So, that night a few weeks ago, when Sano had proposed setting Kenshin Himura and Kaoru up on a date for the wedding, she hadn't been all that shocked.

Of course, Misao had squeaked "Kaoru with your _commander_? You _really _think she would go for the older drill sergeant type?"

Sano had murmured at that, insisting that Kenshin wasn't that old or drill-sergeant-like.

At that, Megumi and Misao had both demanded to see a photo of him. Sano had turned a little red, saying he really only had one photo, Kenshin being the type that hated being photographed, and their unit had discouraged it. Apparently this one available picture was kind of embarrassing. The two of them insisted, and he had been forced to concede.

It turned out to be a picture of most of the unit, with Sano dressed in some sort of skimpy costume, apparently as punishment for daring he could beat Anji in a fight. Kenshin was barely in the periphery of the photo, but his face, looking both resigned and amused, was fairly clear…

"Damn." Misao had said. "He's definitely hot enough for Kaoru."

Megumi broke out of her memories, and glanced at the time. _Okay, it's about time for all of us to get ready. I better call Kaoru, and get her in here._

Their talk half an hour ago was probably the main reason she felt so calm at this point. Kaoru had sounded exasperated at Megumi and Sano's clear duplicity, but… her biggest annoyance seemed to be from the fact no one had told her that Kenshin was _not _a 40-something year-old giant. Megumi had not been able to conceal her amusement over the phone, which had only made Kaoru more annoyed. _It has been so long since Kaoru has acted like that, like herself._ Megumi only hoped it could last for the whole day, and to be honest, for as long as possible after that. Maybe Sano wasn't that bad of a matchmaker…

Of course, it had almost not worked out. When Sano had admitted that there was an outside chance that Kenshin might not make it to the ceremony, Megumi had nixed the idea. It was too risky. _Especially_ if Sano actually thought the two of them would get along, it would be better for them to meet more naturally. Though if he was never going to be in the country for long, trying to set them up would be moot, anyway.

And so they had instead decided on Uramura. He had been in med school with her, so she and Kaoru had known him for several years. Megumi could tell that the two of them were not even remotely attracted to each other, but were still good enough friends to have a good time. Megumi had casually mentioned to Kaoru that Uramura, having recently broken up with his girlfriend, was going alone, and said it would probably be nice for the two of them to sit together. She'd done the same with Uramura, but a little more pointed.

_Of course, I had forgotten that in our profession, promising to attend anything was sometimes an impossibility. _

So Sano's call late last night with the news that Kenshin had made it to town had been highly fortuitous. And even more surprising, Sano had told her that morning over the phone that Kenshin was planning on staying in the city indefinitely. It was almost as if things were perfectly set up for the two of them to meet. Almost as if Sano had planned it all…

Setting that impossible thought aside, she dialed Kaoru. She picked up on the 2nd ring.

"Hi Megumi, you need me to head over now?" Kaoru sounded flustered, but no longer upset. That could be a good sign…

"Yes, I'm gathering everyone now and holding on to the impossible hope that this will actually start on time."

"Okay, I'll be there in a second." Megumi almost went to hang up when she heard a murmur on the other side of the phone.

"Actually… Megumi, I'm here with Kenshin. He was wondering if he could come by quickly and introduce himself?"

Now that was a lovely idea. She would be able to see first hand how well this was going. And shut it down if need be. Though given Kaoru's tone, she had the feeling it was going exactly as Sano had hoped. Besides, she _was_ really curious to see how Kenshin looked in real life.

"That is a great idea. You two come over here; I can give him some last minute instructions for Sano, too."

"O-okay, see you soon."

Megumi smiled as she hung up the phone.

* * *

_Saturday, 2:50 PM_

Kenshin was nervous.

He was about to meet his best friend's soon-to-be bride, he had gotten maybe 10 hours of sleep in the past 72 hours, and he had just been _flirting_ with a woman for a half hour.

This was not how he thought today was going to go.

He glanced at Kaoru's back as they walked to the back of the church.

When they had started talking in the chapel, his only goal had been to set her at ease. However, the more he had gazed into her eyes, seen the subtle changes in her face as their conversation drifted, he had felt something he had not felt in a very long time.

He was attracted to this girl.

He could tell there was something hanging over her, some weight that held her down. There were lines on her face, tightness in her shoulders, pain in her eyes. He could tell that normally, the clear and sweet vigor he could see she held was sharper, stronger, more intense.

He wanted to see her like that.

_Did Sano know I would react to her like this? Did he want me to get to know her, besides her being alone today?_ He would not put it past his friend, but he also did not want to read too much into this situation.

The last thing he wanted was to hurt her, or sour any of the relationships they held in common. Her brother had already explicitly warned him he would not be forgiven. From that, to the hint from Sano, to his own brief observation, there was definitely something he was not aware of about her romantic past, something that meant he could be walking into a minefield with even the most lighthearted attention. And certainly, he was not one to talk about hidden romantic traumas. _Or any sort of trauma._ He did not consider himself to be in a stable place for developing romantic feelings. For many years, he had even doubted he would _ever_ try for a relate to a woman in that way again. Not after Tomoe…

But now, here he was currently imagining holding the girl in front of him tight against his body, caressing her hair, whispering in her ear that everything would be alright.

_Where had _that _come from?_

It was imperative he put these thoughts from his mind. He wanted Megumi to think well of him, as both his best friend's bride and apparently Kaoru's closest friend. It was no time to act like a love-sick teenager. _I am in more control than that, surely?_

Before he knew it they were walking in to the back room, where all the bridesmaids had gathered. He thought he vaguely recognized the three of them from the pictures Sano had sent, but he turned eyes to Megumi.

As he had been able to tell from her picture, Megumi was an extremely beautiful woman. But more impressive to him was the absolute no-nonsense air she projected, even in an elaborate wedding dress. _Clearly, she will put up with none of Sano's less desirable traits._

"You must be Kenshin. It's wonderful to finally meet you." Megumi held out her hand and smiled. He took it respectfully.

"And you must be Megumi. I hope you can forgive my late arrival. However, Kaoru was kind enough to explain the ceremony to me, so I can promise not to make any mistakes."

There was giggling from the women in the room.

Kaoru appeared a little annoyed—and maybe flushed—and she took that moment to cut in.

"And Kenshin, this is Misao, our friend, and Tae and Tsubame, Megumi's cousins."

The oldest of the three, which Kaoru had indicated was Tae, held out her hand as well, and Kenshin shook it briefly.

"It is great to meet you, Kenshin. We've heard a lot about you."

"Yes, nice to meet you!" The youngest one—Tsubame?—said shyly.

"So you are the _legendary_ Kenshin. Glad you could actually make it!" said the last young women, who could only be Misao, based on Sano's description.

"I will have to object to the legendary, but yes, I am Kenshin Himura." He directed a smile around the room, and made sure his tone indicated he was not offended, but he again made a mental note to force Sano to explain just _exactly _how he had been talking about him all these years… "It is wonderful to meet you all."

Megumi nodded, looking pleased but in a hurry at the same time.

"I'm glad you were able to stop by, but unfortunately I need to go get married in rather short order, so we'll have to have a long chat later in the day. Could you go let Sano and the groomsmen know they need to gather at the back of the church now?"

"I would be happy to."

He bowed, and heard the room fill with giggles again.

_Well, that went about as well as could be expected._

As he was leaving, he thought he heard Misao whisper to Kaoru, "Even better in person…"

Even he could not pretend he did not know what _that _meant.

* * *

_Saturday, 3:05 PM _

Sano was sure he was the luckiest man on the earth.

There he was, waiting with everyone he cared about watching on, while the most beautiful woman he'd ever known was about to walk in and pledge her love for him.

Nine years ago, he would never have believed anyone who told him his life would be like this.

Nine years ago he was a snot-nosed, bad-tempered kid who joined the army to piss off his parents, and because he didn't have a better idea of what to do after high school.

That had been an experience.

The memories of his first day at base camp came into his mind. He had almost been kicked out of the army that day, because he had stupidly mouthed off at some skinny red-head kid (who looked to be, what, _fifteen?_), completely unaware that the insignia on his shirt meant he was an officer. A _high-ranking _officer at that.

That had been a big mistake. And probably one of the most painful experiences of his life.

Who would have thought that it would also lead to the most important friendship of his life?

Today had certainly been made perfect by Kenshin's arrival. And even better, during their long talk early that morning, between drinks and cheers from the rest of the group, he had learned that Kenshin was planning on staying in town for the time being.

Which meant it was time for Sano to help his friend out of the funk he had fallen into for the past half-decade.

Seeing Kenshin last night had certainly driven _that _point home. Kenshin had always been diminutive and thin, but he had looked positively awful. Sure, the man at his worst was still more handsome than most of the rest of the world, but his appearance when he arrived at the bar had been a shock to all of them. The Kenshin from their memory had been clean cut, always sharp and in command of his every movement. But this new Kenshin; the command was still there, but it was buried under a layer of dirt and false smiles. He looked tired, sick, way too thin, and just about as disheveled as he had ever appeared. Luckily, plenty of caloric bar food, a good nights sleep, and Kamatari's intervention had restored him to about 80 percent of his old self, at least visually. _We need him lookin' nice if this is going to work._

Returning to the time at hand, Sano watched as Kaoru and Kenshin walked in side by side, Kaoru seeming about as upbeat as Sano had seen her in months. _This is very promising. I am obviously psychic or something._ As he had imagined, they looked just too damn adorable together. Kenshin's flaming red hair, Kaoru's petite but athletic frame, and the fact they were both the type you would describe as cute before beautiful…

Yup. This was definitely going to work. At least…

Kenshin had come up to him, in the last few minutes before the procession, and whispered in his ear. "You need to explain a few things to me after the reception. But first, let's get you married." He had drawn back and smiled at Sano, but it hadn't reached his eyes.

Sano suspected he knew what Kenshin wanted to talk about. Kenshin was the most perceptive person Sano had ever met. He would obviously have immediately picked up on Kaoru's emotional state. Sano soured a little at the thought. He wished to god for the millionth time that he had done something more drastic, when the first incident had happened. Or that he had been more direct early on with his disapproval of that _asshole_... But there was nothing to be done. He knew Kenshin always want to save someone in need. It was usually a good thing, but Sano didn't think Kaoru would want his pity. If the two of them were ever going to be a real couple, Sano had to get Kenshin to see beyond her as a damsel in distress. And he'd have to convince Kaoru to give Kenshin a chance, too.

But enough of thinking about his friends for the moment. The next few hours, all he wanted to think about was Megumi. And there she came…

She was radiant, just as he had imagined she would be. She had complained to him about wearing her mother's dress for the ceremony, but for the life of him he couldn't imagine why. Of course, in his mind, she would look lovely in rags.

He couldn't really pay attention through the rest of the ceremony, as he watched Megumi's face, remembering times with her. Happy, sad, lovely, painful, outrageous times.

He loved her.

He _loved _her. Him. The one who could never make friends, never commit to anything. He had Kenshin to thank for that.

Well, and Kaoru. And of course the woman in front of him.

Suddenly he was kissing her, barely hearing the cheers from the crowd.


	7. Chapter 7

More set up! Hope you guys like this; I'm a sucker for Aoshi (not apologist, just… I am super fascinated by his character). I also, of course, love Misao to death.

Thanks so much for the feedback! Angelica chibilua, Kenshin _is_ awesome. J Luc Pitard, "metro to Megumi" made me chuckle. Izwick, I agree! Sex god and goddess of our hearts perhaps, but not in the "classical" sense. Kokoronagomu, ha, loved your live reviews; as far as dreads go, just replace "dot" with a period, and I was thinking more of this for Sano: menshairstylesclub "dot" com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/short-dreadlock-hairstyles-for-men-2014 "dot" jpg?2df234

Onward...

* * *

_What saved him was his willingness to engage his inner resources, to stop and consider the fundamentals of his life, and then, perhaps most importantly, to take action. As Ben Shephard, a British historian of psychiatry and sometime critic of PTSD, wrote, "A job and a relationship can work wonders."_

-The Evil Hours

* * *

_August 12__th__, 2012_

_Saturday, 10:15 PM _

_Washington, DC_

_Kaoru's place was really ideal for this kid of party..._ Misao's mind was half-wandering, half-listening to Megumi complain about her residency program for the hundredth time, when they both heard a commotion on the first floor.

Kaoru had just run downstairs, her exceptional hearing picking up the sound of the doorbell ringing, even over the cacophony caused by some thirty people crammed into the living room and kitchen of her home's second floor. Since her father had gone for the weekend to pick up Yahiko from summer camp, Kaoru had decided it was high time to throw a "I'm back in town" party, hoping to intermingle her college friends, high school friends, and her new friends from her sparring club.

So the close quarters were pretty much ideal for forcing everyone to meet and talk to new people. Though try telling that to Megumi…

Getting Megumi to approach new people was a difficult prospect, and Misao suspected that Kaoru was perhaps the _only_ person Megumi would even bother trying to tone down her natural _"I highly doubt you're worth my time, so why even bother?" _vibe.

Not that Misao was complaining; well, not _loudly_, at least. Kaoru was by far too friendly for her own good, and keeping Megumi around probably saved her from a bad connection or two. Or twenty…

Which meant Misao, who was dying to mingle, was stuck there, keeping Megumi from doing her usual "new person" shtick, at least until Misao had a chance to decide for herself if she approved of these new friends.

These new friends who'd likely just arrived…

Of course, Misao had met Sano a couple weeks before, when Kaoru'd asked her to come meet him and a few of his buddies for drinks. Honestly, they seemed like a good group, though in Sano's case, she hadn't quite made up her mind yet; he was a bit loud and brash, and if she was being honest with herself… that was _her _thing.

But they were interesting enough that Misao had decided it was also her job to keep Megumi from scaring them away. Honestly, the woman was so protective of Kaoru… it was no wonder Kaoru'd only dated a couple guys in college.

"... I mean, I was asking for it, taking a position at Walter Reid, but still, you'd think they would be even _remotely_ organized…"

Even over Megumi's complaints, Miso could hear Kaoru's excited squeal, and given the loud and low rumble in reply, Misao knew Sano had finally arrived.

"Looks like Sano and his friends are here…" Misao smirked over at Megumi, to gauge her reaction. They'd both had a few drinks, so who knew, maybe she'd be able to get Megumi to admit that her very _specific _and _incessant _criticism of the guy was her way of hiding a crush.

"Hmph." Megumi scowled. "I don't know what Kaoru is thinking, inviting him."

"Oh, I think she knows what she's doing." Misao suppressed a laugh at Megumi's sharp look. Yes, a crush, and a bad one. Megumi thought she was so astute and inpenetrable, but with regards to some things, she was about as obvious as they came.

A moment later Kaoru came bouncing up the stairs, followed shortly by Sano and, if Misao remembered correctly, a guy named Soujiro and Katsu and another man…

_Oh my god. It's him. _

His hair was longer than she remembered; he'd always kept it short when she'd known him. And he was… bigger, his chest was broader, his face… harsher, made up of harsher angles and his eyes… they seemed colder than she remembered. They'd never been warm but…

_But it was _HIM.

"Aoshi…" She was by his side before she even realized it, and in the next moment she had wrapped her arms around him.

"Aoshi…" She felt him stiffen under her, ever so slightly… but he was so _stiff_ to begin with. Like he was tense at all times, like he hadn't ever relaxed in his life…

"… Misao?" His voice was lower, but it was him, his voice, his smell of sea air and pine needles… Or maybe that was just her memories, coming back to her…

…

_She was lost, alone on the beach, not willing to cry because she ALWAYS cried, and she was almost eight now and she didn't want Okina to laugh at her, again, and her grandpa would smile and she didn't want to… she'd find them, she would, it would be alright, but... _

_She'd almost given in and started crying when she heard a low voice, a _boy's _voice._

_"__Misao?"_

_She looked over, and then had to look up_. _He was _beautiful_, and much older than her, fifteen at_ least_. And he was so_ tall_… _

_"__St-stay away! I know how to fight! I'll hit you, don't think I won't!" She held up her arms, just the way her grandpa had taught her, because he'd also taught her not to talk to strangers, and just because this one was beautiful didn't mean she'd… _oh… but, he said my name! How does he know my name? _She dropped her arms._

_He didn't show any reaction to her outburst on his face, but he stopped walking towards her, standing still a few feet away. _

_"__I'm Aoshi." His voice was soft, she leaned towards him, so she could hear. "I live with your grand-uncle, Okina. We've been out looking for you." _

_"__A-o-shi?" She tilted her head, placing her hands on her hips, and remembered that her grandpa _had_ told her that morning that Okina was coming, with a boy, a teenager who he'd taken in recently. _

_Said boy, Aoshi, smiled at her. The smile was a tiny thing, just a small twitch at the end of his lips, but she knew how to look for that. Her grandpa said she was an "excellent observer," and a "quick study." _

_Letting a huge smile come onto her face, she ran forward and took his hand. "Okay, Mr. Aoshi! Let's go home!"_

_…__._

**"**Where have you been! It's been _so long! _Are you okay? Okina said he heard from you a year ago but I was still _worried…_"

"Misao…"

She realized she was babbling into his stomach, her head only making it that far. And she was squeezing him tight, likely too tight, given the strain in his voice. But he hadn't pulled away.

"So yeah, that's Aoshi… but it seems at least Misao already knows that." Sano's voice was saying, and Kaoru was muttering something, Megumi was retorting something back, but Misao didn't pay them any mind. She'd found Aoshi again. And by god, he was not leaving her again.

* * *

_October 18__th__, 2014_

_Saturday, 5:05 PM _

_Washington, DC_

Misao wanted a drink.

The ceremony had been lovely and all, but she was wound so tight that it was absolutely imperative that she get drunk as soon as possible.

She glanced at Aoshi sitting on her right. He hadn't said anything since they had sat down a few minutes ago. Which wasn't that surprising, but she could see that his jaw was slightly more clenched than normal, his eyes a fraction more intense. He was staring intently at his place setting, like it had done something unspeakable to a family member. The difference between that and his _usual_ look was probably something only she could notice, but it was definitely there.

Something was off with Aoshi today.

She didn't need this. She really didn't need this right now. She loved, adored, practically _worshiped_ this man, and had for like, her entire life, but she needed him to calm the crap down for the day.

Luckily waiters were starting to walk around the room. Most of the guests hadn't taken their seats, still milling around and talking. When one of the waiters finally came over to the two of them at the main table, she got them to give her a whole bottle of wine. She poured herself a glass and immediately took a big gulp. She could feel Aoshi briefly turn his eyes to her, and likely he had an eyebrow raised. _Oh, so you're going to be disapproving, big guy? Well, deal with it._

She knew she was being childish. She should have just asked him what was wrong this morning, before heading over to Kaoru's. But in all fairness, she hadn't fully realized the extent of his mood until now.

She took a moment to sneak a peak across the room to where Kaoru and Kenshin were talking near the hors d'oeuvres table. He was saying something to her, which held her rapt attention, and then made her burst out laughing.

The sight did help her anxiety loosen a little. _Now to deal with the other anxiety-inducing person in my life._ She downed the rest of her glass, and turned to Aoshi.

"So. Fun party, no?"

Aoshi didn't respond other than to nod slightly, continuing to stare at his plate. Misao poured herself another glass of wine.

"I thought Megumi's mom was going to make us take another hour's worth of photos, but it all went surprisingly smoothly!"

Nod.

"The flowers were great, too. Lilies were always her favorite, and they went really well with whatever those blue flowers were. I think hydrangeas?"

Another nod. She knew he wasn't really listening.

"Well, I'm going to go make out with random people, so I'll see you later," she said as she stood up from the table.

That got his attention.

"Misao, are you upset?"

She turned back to level a look at him.

"Hmph. That's _my_ line. _You've_ been acting weird all day. What's up?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Sure. And I'm going to go make out with strangers. Glad we are both being so open and honest with each other today."

She heard him sigh, and decided it was best to give him time on his own. She grabbed her glass and walked towards the food. _It's a bad idea to drink on an empty stomach._

She was surprised when she felt Aoshi put his arm through hers. "What are you doing?"

"Coming with you." He kept his eyes forward as they kept walking.

"Sure, but with your arm through mine?"

"I believe this will be the quickest way of keeping you from kissing other men."

He was actually playing along. Misao was inordinately proud of herself; she _had_ to keep this going.

"Or women." She smiled at him sweetly.

"Or women." His lips twitched a little; likely just a concession on his part, an attempt to appease her, but even that was a positive sign. With Aoshi, you took what you could get.

They continued to walk together, Misao's mood lifting at every step.

"Don't think I'm not going to bother you more about whatever's troubling you," she murmured to him as they came to where Kaoru and Kenshin were talking.

"Yes, yes. We will talk later."

"Promise?" she asked, arching her eyebrow, and twinkling her eyes at him.

He looked away and his lips tilted up a fraction more. "I promise." There. That was better. Almost a _real_ smile.

"Good. I will try and restrain myself tonight then. But you'll have to stick close to ensure that."

"Aye." She'd gotten an almost-smile on his face. _There, almost done with my good deeds for the day._

"Kaoru! Kenshin! How's it going?" She called out to them.

They looked up from grinning at each other to greet the two of them.

"Hello Misao, Aoshi." Kenshin nodded towards them, looking utterly serene. _He _sure is_ one god-damn attractive man... Not my type, but Kaoru had better be all over that. I'll never forgive her if she lets him get away._

"Kenshin." Aoshi nodded back to him, and Misao watched as he tensed up a little more after meeting Kenshin's eye. Kenshin seemed to notice as well, and his smile slipped slightly. _It looks like they want to talk on their own. Well. I'll just have to weasel out whatever is going on from Aoshi later._

Kaoru meanwhile seemed oblivious to this exchange. She was also carrying a glass of wine, and had her usual slight flush from drinking. The girl really could not hold her alcohol. Misao made a note to warn Kenshin about that.

"Misao, you have to try the cheese, it's incredibly delicious," Kaoru said.

"Sure sure, though I am more excited by that chocolate fountain…" Misao removed her arm from Aoshi's and grabbed Kaoru's hand, pulling her to the other food table.

Let the guys talk amongst themselves. Misao would get her fix of gossip from Kaoru, and interrogate the two men later.

* * *

_Saturday, 5:15 PM_

Aoshi did not relish social occasions. Ever.

Especially not when that social occasion took place directly after receiving terrible news.

And the room was currently filled with all the people he least wanted to tell this news, but who certainly needed to know as soon as possible.

And Kenshin was here. Currently standing next to him complacently, waiting for him to start a conversation.

He sighed inwardly. Sano had told him that Kenshin was sure to arrive, and Aoshi had certainly believed him. But in the back of his mind, he had hoped that Kenshin wouldn't be able to make it.

It wasn't that Kenshin wasn't perfectly pleasant and kind to him. It wasn't even that Aoshi didn't consider him a valuable person.

But Kenshin's presence was always a trial.

This wasn't true about the rest of their unit. It didn't fully make sense to him, given that it was _Kenshin_ that had saved him, Kenshin who first got him out of the death spiral that was his anger and alcoholism following the death of his subordinates. Kenshin had been there for him, when no one else could get him to respond to their pleas.

Well, there it was. Kenshin was irrevocably linked in his mind to that darkest of times, and his return always brought Aoshi back to those feelings of shame and sadness, which he had ruthlessly replaced with rage. He hated remembering it. He had spent years attempting to meditate those cursed memories away.

However, though he was still on edge, this reunion did feel different, less difficult. He assumed the last year with Misao had something to do with that. He didn't think he had ever felt as at ease around Kenshin before. He had noticed it last night, at the bar. He had only heard a rumor about the bad news at that point, and it hadn't reached the level of alarm he knew it to be now…

It was that other pressure burning in his mind that was taking up about all of his energy. New hurts on top of old… but at least these did not carry the same level of personal shame, only fairly righteous anger.

He and Kaoru weren't particularly close; he and Sano weren't, either. But they were still friends and comrades, and given his job, he was damn sure not going to let these _delinquents_ hurt them again.

Misao had wept for days after the incident…

He sighed inwardly again.

And then he was right back to Kenshin. Sano had finally implemented his long-awaited plan of hooking the two up. Kaoru and Kenshin had barely known each other for a few hours and it was already clear they were attracted to each other, if them making eyes at each other a few minutes ago was any indication.

Well, perhaps he should use this to his advantage. He wanted to avoid telling Sano or Megumi today, if he could help it. Their wedding shouldn't be associated with these events, and he knew they might even cancel their honeymoon, which would cause heartache for all concerned.

As for Kaoru… he didn't think he was the right person to tell her. Misao was the most obvious choice to let her know… but Aoshi didn't want to tell Misao today, either. He had spent all day debating with himself if he should let her know or not.

Another option was Yahiko… but he didn't know if the kid would overreact. He was unsure if Tae was aware of everything, and it was certainly not his place to tell her if she didn't… The other men who knew were no better than himself… He had run through all his options and could not decide on a course of action.

But now there was Kenshin.

Of course, he couldn't tell Kenshin everything, but with just enough information, he should have no trouble convincing Kenshin to help him protect her. Kenshin was more than capable of guaranteeing her safety, without her needing to know she was at risk, at least for a few days more. _If_ she was willing to let Kenshin stick close to her…

She seemed fairly willing.

He sighed, this time aloud. He was the last person to properly sort through these social issues, which is why he was still hesitating.

"Something on your mind?" Kenshin asked lightly. Aoshi knew Kenshin had long ago sensed his disquiet. The man was the best at reading people that Aoshi had ever met. Only Misao was better at reading him, and she'd taken him on as a personal project. _Well. I suppose Kenshin has, as well. He does that… H__e would certainly know exactly how to handle this situation. _And at that thought, Aoshi made his decision.

He checked that Misao and Kaoru were out of earshot; they seemed to be busy chatting a few feet away. He motioned with his head towards a corner of the room. Kenshin lifted an eyebrow and followed him.

Aoshi took a deep breath, preparing himself for this conversation.

"There's an situation developing. One that will be a headache for many of the people here."

Kenshin nodded, waiting for more.

"A colleague of mine let me know last night that someone with… ill intent towards some of our friends had an appeal for bail granted."

"Which friends?" Kenshin's eyes darted over towards where Misao and Kaoru were happily talking. _He must already know something is going on with her. Trust him to notice._

"Possibly several individuals, but… primarily Kaoru Kamiya."

Kenshin's face grew very grim. "And this ill intent, how serious is it?"

Aoshi closed his eyes, and thought for a minute about how to best phrase this.

"Yesterday, I was not overly concerned. Wary, but not concerned. However…"

"However…?"

"I heard more this morning. One of my contacts uncovered for me who arranged for the last-minute bail hearing and paid the rather large sum. It is this news that had caused me to go from theorizing about a possible retaliation to expecting one."

Kenshin leveled an intense stare at him, as if ordering him to continue. Aoshi looked away from Kenshin, back towards Misao and Kaoru.

"I am not fully at liberty to tell you everything I know. This information was not discovered by… fully legal means. And I do not wish to expose personal information that is not mine to tell." He looked back at Kenshin, this time returning the intense gaze with his own.

"This threat. Do you expect it tonight? Here?" Kenshin's eyes were blazing.

"No, I doubt anything will happen here. I am more worried about a potential threat to Kaoru when she is alone. They would not gain anything from a public action."

"Then… what is it that _they_ wish to gain?"

"Kaoru's silence."

Kenshin hissed, his eyes taking on an even more intense fire. _It has been a long time since I have seen him like this._

"They aren't smart or connected enough to expect their activities would be monitored by someone like me, someone with a personal interest. But I have been debating all day who to let into confidence about this."

"And you chose me. Who else knows?"

"At the moment, just a couple other officers, ones who know about the… case. I need to tell Sano and Megumi, but…"

"You didn't wish to tonight." Kenshin cut in.

"Yes."

"Is that all the information you are going to give me? Will you tell me anything more about the nature of what Kaoru's silence would gain them, or anything about these 'persons' you are referring to?"

Aoshi considered for a moment; he would have to tell Kenshin a little more, for him to truly understand. "Her silence would result in the charges against two… suspects being dropped. And the… group these people work for might stand to gain from her discretization. It is possible they are worried about what else may come up during a trial."

"And those charges, can I know anything about them?"

"I do not think that is wise." Aoshi didn't hesitate there; in his mind, that was Kaoru's to disclose, and not anyone else's.

He could see Kenshin was unhappy about that, but thankfully he did not press him any further.

"So. You are asking me to protect her, is that it?"

"To help me in that effort, yes. She is living alone right now. I would expect that is where she is most at risk. I can stake out her place, but not without informing Misao."

Kenshin looked a little confused.

"You want _me_ to… stake out her place?"

Aoshi merely looked at him.

Kenshin actually started to blush.

"You are _not_ suggesting I…"

"If you are uncomfortable with the idea, I can let Misao know... But Kaoru has a rather large house, having someone inside would be optimal." He paused. "I'm asking you to be her house guest. It doesn't have to be more than that."

"I would hope not." Kenshin spat.

They stood silently for a moment, Aoshi feeling Kenshin's turmoil and unsettled thoughts.

Finally Kenshin spoke. "Why aren't you and your officers handling this? Aren't the police enough…?"

If Aoshi was the type to laugh, he would have. He raised an eyebrow, which got the point across. "All I have are suppositions. Without any new threats, any proof of ill intent…" He left the rest unsaid. As if they had the resources to post an officer outside the house of every woman threatened by an old boyfriend…

Kenshin sighed.

"Alright. I'll see what I can do." He swung his eyes over to Aoshi. "But you better tell Misao and Kaoru whatever is going on soon. I'm not going to keep _whatever this is_ secret from Kaoru for more than a couple days. I don't approve of keeping people in the dark. It never ends well." He sighed again, though this one seemed directed inward, to a place of personal shame and sadness, before shaking his painful thoughts away. "Well, it looks like it's almost time for the speeches. We better take our places." Kenshin nodded towards Sano and Megumi, who were currently walking arm and arm to the wedding party's table.

"I suppose we better." Aoshi glanced at the happy couple, before sending his gaze back towards Misao and Kaoru, only to see that Misao was watching him. Catching his eye, she smiled that smile she always had, the one just for him, that said she trusted and adored him, as no one else ever had.

He would just have to keep working to deserve it.


	8. Chapter 8

Well. This will be interesting. This is by far my most ambitious chapter… and next will be more so … Oof. Writing is hard, guys.

There is some potentially triggering material here, and the next chapter will be "the" chapter, as a warning. Neither chapter is really skippable, so if you're worried but want to keep reading you can PM me?

Also… I took a trip to Japan recently, which is why this update is later than I wished. And I'm of course way behind on lots of life stuff as well, so the next one will take some time.. Anyway, I do intend to finish this story, but it will have to be at a much slower pace. As a heads up.

I hope you enjoy! Thanks so much for the reviews! They make a huge difference; every time I get one, it gives me a push to keep writing.

* * *

"The problem, as I explained to Scott, had nothing to do with alcohol or metaphorical bandages being ripped off or pots being stirred or papers being blown into the wind or cars being driven or not driven, but instead a fundamental misapprehension of the nature of trauma as I experienced... trauma that to my way of thinking was far more about the cumulative effect of living under fear of death for months and then coming home and realizing that no one cared in the slightest about it than it was about a single close call..."

-_The Evil Hours_, David Morris

* * *

_October 24__th__, 2009_

_Saturday, 6:05 PM _

_Washington, DC_

Kenshin steeled himself before entering the bar. He was not expecting anything good, but he had no choice but to face reality.

Tomoe had given him a worried look before he left, and seemed to want to say something, maybe even stop him from going. He'd simply smiled, to reassure her.

He doubted that it had worked.

When he stepped inside, his gaze was immediately drawn to Sano. Other than a couple of old men sitting at the bar, the place was empty. Sano was in the far corner, facing towards the door as he glumly downed what appeared to be his fourth beer, if the empty cans on the table were any indication.

Sano caught his eye, and nodded. Sending him a smile, Kenshin walked briskly to a bar to order a drink. He took those few minutes to think, to trying to decide what he could possibly say to Sano…

"Man, Kenshin, looking good! Never seen you with that much hair before." Sano called out to him, his voice only moderately distorted with alcohol, when Kenshin finally approached.

Kenshin ran his hand through his hair reflexively, feeling the inch or so of hair that had grown while he had been on leave. "It had been a while for me, as well. But my wife seems to like it." He grinned sheepishly, scooting into the booth across from Sano.

"Your wife, huh... So you were serious in your letter." Sano smirked. "I guess part of me just couldn't believe our straight-laced commander would go and have a quickie wedding with some local girl. I owe you some congratulations!"

Kenshin paused for a moment, torn between slight indignance, and the overlaying happiness he felt, whenever he thought of Tomoe waiting for him back home. _A home_. _Not really a set_ place_ yet, but as long as Tomoe is there…_

He settled on resigned tolerance. "Err, well, thanks, Sano. It was not really that quick, but I suppose you have been gone for some time, so it must have come as a surprise."

"Yeah, yeah, say that all you want. Anyway, when am I going to meet this broad?"

_That fraught question_… "Some time soon. I just want to give her a little bit more time to get acclimated here before I spring my… friends on her."

Sano seemed to stiffen at that. "Acclimated? Wait… she a Muslim?"

"She's Iraqi, of course she is. What's with that tone?" Kenshin bristled, suddenly on edge.

"You know what I mean." Flinging his hands around, Sano didn't seem to notice that he'd upended three of his empty beer cans.

"I'm not sure I do."

"No, no, like, is she _one of them_." Sano spat the words, his eyes almost wild.

Kenshin reevaluated his impression of Sano's tone. He sounded… not drunk, but unsteady, inflamed, and not only from alcohol. From something much more dangerous, not something that faded given enough time and sleep.

"Sano… Do I need to remind you that _I_ could be considered Muslim?" He didn't know where that had come from, that long-buried identity of his youth, his mother's fear when his father didn't come home, of not-so-far-off gunshots heard most nights, and an extra bolt lock on their door that didn't seem to give them any greater sense of peace.

But his unbidden words had an effect. Sano seemed to deflate, his shoulders hunching down as he curled his hands around his remaining beer.

"Sorry. I forgot."

Taking a deep breath, Kenshin calmed himself as well. "It is not that I cannot understand. But… Sano, you do not seem to be doing well. Where have you been the last few months? I was surprised to hear from you so suddenly…"

"Here and there. Wandering. Avoiding… long term living. It's not… easy, you know?"

He did know. Eventually, the waking nightmares caught up to you, until they colored your every interaction, caused you to lash out even against those you loved. However…

"You've been home for six months, yes? Perhaps it is time to start trying?" Kenshin paused, staring down at his own drink, then dropped his voice to almost a whisper. "It is difficult, but having people who count on you, who you can count on… I believe it is the only way people like us can find peace. You need roots, for that to happen. You need a home."

"And that's enough?" The sudden pleading in Sano's voice forced Kenshin to look up again.

"Yes," he said, believing it. "It is."

* * *

_October 18__th__, 2014_

_Saturday, 6:00 PM _

_Washington, DC_

Kenshin did his best to maintain his smile, watching Kaoru get up for her speech, the clatter of silverware on plates and the pleasant murmur of conversation diminishing as all eyes fell on her.

He had spent dinner sitting between Katsu and Sano. They had drawn him into a conversation about recent events in Afghanistan; well, Katsu had drawn him into that depressing conversation, which meant Kenshin at least had a reason to appear reticent with his words, as anything he said might end up in print. Well, Katsu would likely _ask _first, but once he stuck his nose into a story… Sano had been a useful distractor, popping in and out of the conversation every few minutes or so, as most of his attention was focused on Megumi. As it should be.

So Kenshin had not much mental capacity to spare on what, exactly, he was going to _do._ Until now, as the room quieted, and there was nowhere else to focus but on the young woman walking across the floor.

_There's a situation developing._

Trust Aoshi to get right to the point. Here they all were, finally feeling at peace, enjoying the evening, and practically on cue, Aoshi came along with bad news.

Kenshin knew he had been asking for it, wondering throughout the day what unspoken aura of tension hung over the room like a hazy cloud.

_Someone with… ill intent towards some of our friends had an appeal for bail granted._

Aoshi, with his work as a detective, would know that, would he not? He had access to that kind of information.

_… __primarily Kaoru Kamiya._

Kaoru… She looked so _happy_ at that exact moment; she looked beautiful, really, her lovely blue dress swaying against her ankles as she approached the microphone with an eager grace.

He was fairly certain he understood now_. A really rough year, like, really rough, both in general and… boyfriend-wise_, Sano had said. _She's fragile, okay? So don't be dumb, _her brother had muttered to him, his eyes downcast.

A man had hurt her, and might hurt her again. He felt his hands clench underneath the table. _Not if I have anything to say about it._

As if he could promise such a thing. As if he could promise protect _anyone_…

No. He stopped himself there. That train of thought… he had avoided any flashes of memory so far today, despite being at a wedding, where one might _expect_ to be reminded. His own wedding had borne practically no resemblance to today's event, a non-religious ceremony at the US Embassy in Baghdad…

Stop. Breathe. Focus on the now, on the living, on the things that he could control, not the innumerable past pains and whatever unavoidable troubles the future might hold. _Hiko was the one who told me that, now, wasn't he?_

Kaoru was smiling and shifting her feet, holding the microphone in one hand, a few small notecards in the other.

"Well, here we are." Her eyes sparkled as she surveyed the room, though Kenshin could see her hands shaking slightly as she started reading from her cards.

"I know as the maid of honor, I'm _supposed_ to give a speech about how I met the bride, and all, but…" She peeked through her lashes over to bridal party's table, briefly catching Megumi's eye. "I'm going to buck tradition, and talk about _Sano _instead."

"So I apologize to… to Kenshin, for covering his area here, but… my meeting Sano… well, some of you know, some of you don't… that meeting is the reason we're all here today."

There were a few titters around the room. Kenshin glanced over at the bride and groom, and watched as Sano's smirk grew, while Megumi's smile, though genuine, twitched a little at the corners of her mouth.

"As many of you know, when I came back to town after college, I joined what amounts to a fight club… you know, people of different styles of martial arts, or boxing, or something, meet up practice together. Anyway, on my first time there, I get paired up with this really tall, really tough looking guy… who doesn't seem that thrilled to be matched with me."

Kenshin thought he heard Misao snort at that, from across the table, but it could have been his imagination.

"Well, as we start, he's doing such a bad job of hiding his reluctance to fight me. This annoys me to no end… so I pull a feint to make him go for a clean punch to the chest… then I round kick him, right in the knee. You know, as a message."

Sano's laugh was audible over the rest of the crowd. A smile crept onto Kenshin's face, from the sheer coincidence of his and Kaoru's meeting with Sano… He'd have to look out for that kick of hers, in the future.

"Of course, most of you know Sano… but much to _my _surprise at the time, he got right up, and while getting up, he didn't look upset at all. Instead, he gave me that trademark smirk of his, you know the one, and said 'Looks like you got my number, let's try that again'… and well, we've been friends ever since."

Flipping to the next card, her smile dropped ever so slightly, and when she started talking, it was with a serious tone.

"In any case, he insisted on buying me a drink afterwards, so we went to a bar, started chatting, realized we grew up not too far from each other, are in the middle of _that_ standard conversation, have you met so-and-so, have you been to this place, yadda yadda… and what do you know, a fight breaks out next to us."

She was talking faster, almost nervously. "One guy throws a bottle at another… and instead of flying towards whoever it is going for… it's aimed squarely at my head."

The room is silent. "I see it coming, clear as day… until suddenly there's a hand in front of my eyes. And shattering glass failing to either side of me, and Sano's there, hand cut to shreds, stopping the bottle from colliding with my face."

She paused for a moment, a slight sigh heard around the room. He could picture the scene clearly… Sano blindly moving to help someone else, never thinking of the consequences to his own body.

"And, that's when I knew, that Sano was, well, an amazing person, you know? The kind of person who would unthinkingly stick himself out for someone he barely knows, who takes hurts for other people. Who wants to protect each and every person he meets, regardless of the cost to himself."

Out of the corner of his eye, Kenshin saw Megumi take Sano's hand into her own, and give it a light squeeze.

"So after, well, as you might imagine, um, telling those drunks the what for, I managed to drag Sano out of the bar, and against his wishes, decided he _was definitely_ going to get his rather battered hand looked at."

Kaoru slowed down again, seeming to regain her humor. "And since he'd told me that he'd been in the army, well, I knew just who to take him to."

There was another round of muffled laughter.

"… And so here we are. One obstinate meeting, a selfless act, a bar fight, a hospital visit. Which if you think about it, is pretty much the _only _possible way these two beautiful people would end up meeting their life partners."

The whole room was now smiling, caught up in Kaoru's word's and expression. She was glowing, no longer looking down at her cards every few words, but speaking from someplace deep within herself. Kenshin found he couldn't look away, he was so captivated by her expression.

"You know, I don't remember meeting Megumi. I've known her all my life. We grew up together, she babysat me, she bandaged my cuts and tended my bruises, she rolled her eyes at me when I dyed my hair… and I did the same right back, when she went through her own silly phases. We haven't always been close… but we've always been _close_.

"She is the smartest, quickest, most sharp-tongued, beautiful, incisive people I've ever even _heard_ of, let alone met. She's a very reliable roommate, though she expects a lot, so you better be ready for that, Sano." There was more laughter. "We all know how hard she works, how hard she pushes _all_ of us to be better, but never as hard as she pushes herself. She's a true friend, in every sense of the word."

Kaoru looked down at her cards again. "I love her, and always have. And I've come to love Sano as well… who is _also _as true a friend as anyone could ask for. Certainly… certainly they are the truest friends that _I _…"

For a second, Kaoru's breath seemed to catch in her throat, but she suddenly brightened. To Kenshin, the effort it took for her to speak again was obvious, as if she had forced an overfull drawer closed, only just barely getting it to click shut.

"…and can't say how _smug_ I was when they finally came to their senses and started dating. I know I wasn't the only one."

Megumi snorted, which sent a ripple of laughter around their table.

"But here we are. Witnessing two wonderful people coming together, to create one new family. I know that together, these two are unstoppable, and I'm so _happy_ that we are all here to see them being so happy together."

"To Megumi and Sano."

The room descended into raucous claps, the loudest section being the table made up by the men of their unit who weren't in the bridal party. Kaoru swayed away from the mike, her hands still tight on her notecards, but her face flushed and happy.

Once she was almost to the table, Kenshin got up and walked towards her, giving her shoulder a quick squeeze as he passed.

_Well, now I had to follow _that.

Gingerly, he picked up the mike with the hand not holding his wine glass, and took a moment to think before speaking.

"Well. I feel a little silly. I am not sure if there is anything left to say, after Kaoru's toast." He put on his most disarming smile, and the crowd laughed with him. "_And_ I did not know I would be speaking until today, so to spare you all, I will keep this short.

"I met Sano almost ten years ago, and do not think I could imagine a world without him. He brings joy and good humor and _happiness_ everywhere he goes."

The room was quiet again, broken only by the soft chink of glass and the occasional cough.

"I had not met many of you until today, including Sano's lovely bride. My first impressions, though, of _everyone_, have been so marvelous. I would like to say that you are all blessed to know Sano, but it appears to me that the blessing is mutual all around."

He heard his voice drop ever so slightly in tone, taking on a edge that almost brought out tears from deep inside himself, from a place of gratitude… and regret.

"I want to thank Sano, for always being there for me. I cannot say how overjoyed I feel, to know that Sano has had people here for him as well. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to everyone here, for being the friends and family that he deserves."

He raised his glass. "To many more decades of friendship and laughter."

Walking back to the table, Kaoru caught his eye. Her red cheeks, from drinking, public speaking, and perhaps some small part from what they were sharing together that moment, looking at each other. Her bright eyes seemed to speak to him, promising a friendship that lay ahead for him, with everyone gathered in that room. But possibly, hopefully (he dared), her eyes spoke of a friendship that lay before the two of them especially.

That was a future to which he could look forward. One he would protect.

* * *

The room was warm. It was _very_ warm. Also a little unstable. Well, that was probably just her. But it wasn't staying _still_. That was for sure.

But Kaoru felt _marvelous_. She couldn't stop smiling.

Kenshin, it turned out, was a marvelous dancer.

Well, not marvelous, in the any virtuosic sense; but he could keep time, had a firm grasp on her arm and waist, and could gracefully twirl her around to her heart's content.

She hadn't had this much _fun_ since… well since _forever_.

Misao was casting glances at them with her unique mix of smugness and jealously; Aoshi was possibly the worst dancer in history, his aura of dignity pairing _very _poorly with "Funkytown," or most anything else the band had played, which meant he was merely hovering around the edge of the dance floor, along with the grandparents and older guests.

Oh, but then Kenshin spun her again, and in the return, she collide with him, laughing heartily. On a whim, she refused to let him spin her out again, instead clinging to his arms as they wrapped around her. He just smelled so _good_; a light layer of sweat mixing with the smell of sandalwood and fresh soap.

Too soon, the song ended, followed by a slow one. People started drifting away to catch their breath, leaving only a few swaying couples.

"Would you like something to drink?" Kenshin squeezed her hand, gently pulling her towards the edge of the dance floor.

"Oh-kay, Ken-shin…" She leaned forward, to rest her head against his back.

"Oro." He turned and grasped her shoulders, carefully pushing her level. "How about some water? I think we both need some…"

She giggled, looking him in the eye. She thought he might be blushing, but his cheeks might just be red from dancing… "Maybe… something else?"

"Oro… I think, maybe we have had enough for now." He smiled, but looked away from her.

"Oh-kay…" Kaoru wasn't sure why she couldn't think of anything better to say. Maybe some water would help…

Kenshin took her hand again, and led her off the dance floor.

Once Kenshin had gone, Sano and Megumi approached to her. "You two look like you're having fun." Sano said with a laugh.

"Mm-hmm. He's a… good dancer."

"Yeah… looks like. You guys looked good out there. Real cute, you know. Real, real cute."

"Sano!" Kaoru blushed, and punched his arm. It didn't land as hard as she wanted it to, but that was just because his arm seemed to _move_ all of the sudden. Things weren't staying still…

"Oh, let her be." Megumi suddenly leaned forward, and pulled Kaoru into a quick hug.

"Thanks. For saying all that. It…" Megumi looked away for a second, and Kaoru thought her eyes looked glassy. "It was really sweet of you."

"Well… I meant it." There were more words to say, ones that almost spilled out, but her tongue felt too heavy, and the feelings were too… spread out to be voiced.

"Aw, Kaoru, you're a sweetie." Sano put his arm around her, and went to ruffle her hair.

"Hey, sto-o-p!" Kaoru pushed him away before he could mess up her hairdo any more than the dancing had done, almost falling over in the process.

"Doing alright over here?" Kenshin said, approaching with a drink in each hand.

"Kenshin!" Sano went to give Kenshin the same treatment, but Kenshin deftly avoided him, and came over to hand Kaoru a glass.

"Some lemonade for you, my lady." He bowed slightly, while extending the glass towards her.

After a beat, Megumi burst out laughing, Kaoru quickly following her, both of them bowling over and snickering uncontrollably.

"Too much?" Kenshin smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. Sano took the moment to actually grab him and fluff his hair.

He looked so adorable, laughing with Sano hanging around his shoulders, his hair mussed around his face, a few drops of lemonade dripping off his sleeves. Kaoru set her drink down and grabbed his arm, pulling him back in the direction of the dance floor.

"C'mon, let's dance some more."

"Oro, sorry Sano! I… have to… well…"

"Sure, go for it!"

Kaoru ignored Sano and Megumi's laughs, and lost herself in the song; though if you asked her what was playing, she wouldn't have been able to answer. She and Kenshin danced together, one moment close and energetic, in another she swayed with the crowd, caught up in group singing. At one point Misao came over, and wordlessly asked to dance with Kenshin. Kaoru took that opportunity to get another drink. Throwing back a gin and tonic, she watched with hooded eyes, as Kenshin and Misao flung themselves across the dance floor, much to everyone's enjoyment.

She was flushed, covered in sweat, deliriously happy and not a little tipsy, she was conscious enough to admit.

She continued to watch her old friend and her new… friend? Could she say that yet? She decided it was the most _comfortable_ word at this point. Other words came to mind, but…

Suddenly she felt an arm around her, a very sweaty arm, from quite a bit higher. _Sano_, she thought, before turning to face him.

"You know, all those swell things you said about me-"

"Sw-ell? Who says _swell_?" She giggled, unable to stop herself.

"I do. Anyway, all that stuff you said about me… it wasn't true, ya know. For most of my life."

She clumsily shifted under his grip, unsure what to say.

"It was Kenshin, who made me change. He's the one who's really like that. I've just been trying to follow his example. Have for most of my life, since I met him."

"That so…" Kaoru gazed across the room at Kenshin again, and watched him desperately grip Misao's arm, as she twirled about and forced him to follow wherever she went, but did so with a smile on his face.

"Yeah. He's a good guy. A real good guy. Like, a really, _really…"_

"I _get_ it, Sano."

"Well, I'm glad. 'Cause I really like you both. And you both should be happy. So… be happy. Okay?"

"Gee-ee-ez, you can't just tell someone to-"

"I know, I know, but it's my wedding, right? So humor me."

She smiled. "Fine, fine. Well, I am happy. This has been really… really fun. So thanks." She leaned up on her toes and kissed Sano on the cheek, before pulling back and grinning at his red face.

"Good." Apparently sobering up for a second, enough to be a little embarrassed by his obvious show of emotion, Sano turned, tucking his hands behind his head. "Well, I better get back to the missus… We still have a bunch of people to greet. They never tell you, ya barely get any time to yourself at these things."

A minute and another glass of wine later, an equally tipsy Misao came over, Kenshin in tow. "Sooorrrry Kaoru, I've come to give him back to you." She sighed, loudly. "Someday I'll get Aoshi to dance for more than five minutes. Probably just once. But it'll happen!"

Kaoru hid her laugh behind her hands. "It's cool, it's cool, I needed a break." She looked over at Kenshin, who seemed to have barely broken a sweat. _Figures_.

"We-ell, Kenshin and I, we're already the best of friends." Misao broke out her biggest smirk, throwing her arms around the two of them. "So I'm fine giving him back to you. I'll just steal him again later… What's so funny?" Misao asked, looking askance at a laughing Kenshin.

"Oh, nothing too serious. You just cost me a drink, that you did."

Blushing, Kaoru grabbed his hand and led him back to dance, before he could say any more.

At some point later in the night, Kaoru found herself waiting to catch a bouquet, a triumphant Tae lording the captured flowers over the rest of them. There were more speeches, from parents, grandparents, and at one point, she'd sought Yahiko out to force him on the dance floor with her, much to his chagrin (though she could tell Tsubame was pleased when he'd remained there, to dance with her). Misao kept her promise to steal Kenshin again, using his partner skills to show off by pirouetting in the middle of the dance floor, only to fall out of her turn, giggling, unsteady from their night of drinking.

It was halfway through some song, late in the night, the dancing still going strong, though the rest of the room had emptied, murmured talk of _taking the party elsewhere_ buzzing among the remaining crowd, when the blurring of time in Kaoru's head started to make her feel uneasy instead of liberated. She wasn't sure what it was; the flashing lights on the dance floor, the frenzied movement of everyone around, her suddenly heavy legs… the world tilted, her mind and body unable to stay still, her nerves jangling and bouncing, out of tune with the music and instead tuned to some terrifying force inside herself, one that said _stop, run, things are not as they should be_.

She managed to make it through the song, apprehensively holding tight to herself as the feeling of _wrongness_ grew, spilling out of her gut and into her hands. She felt as if they were shaking, pulsing unnaturally as if her veins were being pricked one by one inside her arms… and she couldn't quite figure out _why_, let alone get them to stop.

The song died down, and she stumbled out of the central mass of dancers, forcing herself to focus on the world _outside_ herself, hoping to escape this feeling by breathing air, facing away from the lights and loud voices.

The sound of shattering glass. She hitched in a breath, and grabbed hold of herself, curling into a ball.

_No! Don't! Please, stop, you're hurting him…_

Pushing as hard as she could from these thoughts, she forced her legs straight, her intoxicated buzz obscuring the images, as if the blood flowing from her mind was taking them away to somewhere darker and unseen…

Then, her arms, someone was clutching her arms, moving her back and forth, and the memories came right back, practically overflowing in awful brilliance.

_"__No, Kihei, STOP!"_

_Yahiko was on the floor, moaning, but Kihei turned, stopping his kicks to focus on her._

_He went to grab her, but she was ready, this time, _he wouldn't hit her this time _– he grabbed her wrist, and she _twisted_, her blood boiling, instinct and years of training kicking in. She used her momentum to land a hard kick to his shin, and as he stumbled forward, so she swung her other leg up to knee him in the groin. _

_She was about to land another hit on his back, when she was lurched back, forcefully, painfully – someone had grabbed her arms tightly, so tightly as to bruise almost immediately, causing her to gasp._

_"__I got you, you little bitch," the voice said, one she recognized, feared…_

_"__Gohei…" A hard hit to her head, and she felt the world go black._

She was hearing voices again, loud ones, but she couldn't tell what they were saying. Her eyes opened… and she looked up, to a set of worried purple eyes, somewhat familiar eyes. _Kenshin. _Misao was pushing against him in an effort to get closer, and right behind her, Aoshi. She panicked for a second, that Yahiko wasn't there, too–_was he still hurt, still lying on the floor—_before she remembered that he and Tsubame had already left… was it hours ago? Minutes? She thought she'd said goodbye, but she couldn't quite remember…

The sounds of the party crept back in. It seemed no one else had noticed… what… what had happened? She was sitting in a chair. She felt warm, hot even, but she wasn't uncomfortable.

Kenshin looked worried. So she smiled.

It was harder to do that she thought. She thought… maybe next… she was sitting in a car. Yes. It was late. She should sleep.

Sleeping, without dreaming, that was always good. She wanted that.

"No dreams…"

* * *

It was funny, Kenshin thought, how quickly things could turn. It even frightened him, sometimes, when he stopped to think, how he almost expected it. That _he _could change in an instant, and did, to meet whatever trouble came his way.

He was always prepared for the worst, since he had been a young boy, since the day he had come home one day to find his whole life had changed. Had found his father gone, his mother and sister hidden inside their parent's bedroom closet, cheeks damp and white with fear.

Tonight, he should have expected the calm to be short-lived. He had been doing his best to contain himself, to stop himself from responding when she pressed against him, to keep his hands on her waist, and not drift any lower—she had made it _so hard_ to keep his distance, she really had. But she had been drinking too much, and he had not needed Misao's whispered warning before dinner to know that Kaoru did not hold her alcohol well.

And then, in a moment, he was back in the familiar role of caretaker, calmly trying to determine what had caused a friend's breakdown, and assess what needed to happen to control the situation.

Aoshi had stepped in as well, Misao fluttering distractingly behind them, and suggested that perhaps Kaoru should go home. The four of them were in an Aoshi's car ten minutes later, after he had fetched his backpack from Sano's car, and Misao had dragged Kaoru over to say her goodbyes to the bride and groom.

Misao was asleep in the front seat by the time they pulled up to Kaoru's house, Kaoru only barely awake. She had been leaning on Kenshin throughout the ride, her head lolling onto Kenshin's shoulder at every turn the car had made.

"Will you be alright, getting her inside?" Aoshi said, looking Kenshin straight in the eye, as he moved to help the drowsy Kaoru out of the car

"Yes, I think so. I will make sure she gets to bed safely, and call you in the morning."

Aoshi stared at him for a moment, and Kenshin understood what he wasn't saying. So he smiled, a half smile, and looked down. "It is not as if I have not done this before."

"That's true," Aoshi said, his gaze drifting to the sleeping Misao. She flipped over, mumbling something in her drunken slumber, and Kenshin thought he saw a small, rueful smile flash across his mouth. It faded almost as quickly as it appeared. "Make sure to lock all the doors."

"Yes." Kenshin hadn't forgotten their early conversation. "I'll be careful."

The short walk to the back of the house seemed to rouse Kaoru to some extent, the half-wakefulness of someone who probably wouldn't remember much in the morning.

Luckily Misao had fished Kaoru's house keys from her purse before they left the reception, so getting Kaoru inside was a simple process. However, the second they were in her entryway, Kaoru flung her arms around his neck, nearly causing them both to fall over.

"You gotta help. The stairs are tooooo long." She giggled into his back, and Kenshin flushed with embarrassment and not a little shame.

"Alright, but I hope you live on the second floor." He only got giggles as a response.

He dropped his backpack, squatted down, and let her fall onto his back, carefully hooking his arms under her legs and trying not to notice how her dress hitched up around her thighs. She leaned her head onto his shoulder, loops of her hair brushing against his neck.

She smelled wonderful, like jasmine flowers and clean sweat and summer rain… _Focus_.

"I like your rides," she whispered, as they reached the top of the stairs.

He gulped. "Well, you're _very_ heavy, so this is about all I got." She whined and swatted his head, but allowed him to carefully set her down, then help her to a chair by her kitchen table.

Even as his mind raced, thinking through the next steps he needed to take, he couldn't help noticing the state of the kitchen. Well, it was just the table. The actual _kitchen_ looked fairly untouched. But the kitchen table was littered with trash—take out boxes and empty beer cans, plastic bags and unopened mail.

"Could you show me which room is yours?" he asked, trying to sound casual, and hoping she wouldn't be offended… or… misunderstand.

His hopes were diminished by her blush and giggle, as she unsteadily stood up and took his hand, leading him on unstable legs down the hall.

The door was open, so Kenshin only had to follow her in, where she made a beeline for the bed and plopped down on its edge, hazily looking up at him.

Again, he was couldn't avoid noticing worrisome things about the room. The décor screamed "adult man" at every angle: the walls were a dark navy blue, the desk and armoire made up of sharp lines and deep mahogany. There was even an antique map and an old baseball poster framed on the walls.

He went to the closet, hoping to find a nightgown, and saw it was mostly filled with men's clothes, a few dresses and other things crammed in near the center.

_This is her father's room_…

Glancing around, he saw a hamper stuffed with shirts and jeans, apparently her usual clothing. She had obviously been using this room for some time, so he took a deep breath, and grabbed a shirt and pair of cotton shorts, and brought them back to Kaoru on the bed.

"I'm going to leave, so you can change into these."

She looked blankly at the clothes he handed her. "But… you'll be back?"

"Yes, to make sure you are alright," he said, on edge, unsure what she might be thinking.

She swayed as she raised herself, and he grasped her arms to help her stand. Then he turned to leave.

Suddenly she threw her arms around him, clutching at his shirt, until she had turned him so she could bury her face against his chest. Reflexively, he put a hand to her head, her back, feeling her soft hair and the cool silk of her dress…

That was when she started sobbing.

"D-don't le-eave… don't leave… I d-don't… want to be alone." She cried into him, shaking uncontrollably, her tears soaking into his shirt as he clutched her to him, knowing could do nothing to stop them.

* * *

It took a long time for Kaoru to calm, but once she did, it was fairly easy to coax her into changing out of her dress. He simply turned his back, and waited until the sounds of rustling clothing stopped. Then he threw back the covers and guided her into the bed, remaining by her side until her eyes drooped shut and her breathing grew steady.

It was perhaps unnecessary, but he couldn't help propping a few of her pillows against her back, assuring that she would lay on her side throughout the night. He hung her dress up in the closet and headed to the kitchen to fetch her a glass of water.

When he returned, he paused in the doorway for a few minutes, watching her even breathing.

"No dreams…" he whispered, thinking to her muddled words as they had driven her home. He moved noiselessly to leave the glass of water on her nightstand, only stopping for a moment to look closely at her peaceful face.

There was a window right by the nightstand. He inspected it, noting that it was securely bolted shut, and faced against the windowless brick wall of the adjacent building. He pulled the blinds closed before exited the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

It was only when he returned to the kitchen that he allowed himself out of autopilot, and sank down into the same chair he had placed her in minutes before.

He was tired.

He was tired, and angry, angry at himself because he couldn't decide how to feel towards this pretty young woman, towards himself, towards his friends and his past.

Half of him felt an overwhelming tenderness towards Kaoru. She was intoxicating, with her easy smiles and firm touch. She needed him, needed someone to hold her close and tell her she wasn't alone.

Just like him.

Another part of him hated her.

No… that was wrong. It wasn't her that he hated. It was himself, for _wanting _her to need him, wanting to be _wanted_, made to stay, given self-worth and purpose by the dependency of another.

It wouldn't end well. That wasn't love, or even friendship. It was a stopgap, a hollow sort of affection that would eventually leave both of them feeling more empty inside.

He'd walked this path before.

For a long time, he sat there, listening to the kitchen clock tick away the seconds, staring at the greasy pizza boxes and congealed Chinese food cartons on the table. Seeing his own past, and the past of so many others he had known in them. Finally, he shook himself, and decided to try and get some rest, before he collapsed there, on her dirty table, from exhaustion and nerves.

He stumbled down the stairs to retrieve his backpack. On his way back up, he paused, glancing up the stairs to the third floor. There didn't seem to be more rooms on the second floor, which meant that there must be another bedroom, Kaoru's _real_ bedroom, on the next level.

Curiosity overwhelmed exhaustion, and with his backpack looped over his shoulder, he bounded up the second flight of stairs, coming upon another hallway with three closed doors. He opened the first, on the side that faced away from the street, revealing a bathroom. The second, right next the bathroom, was a small bedroom, and given the number of grunge band posters and girls in bikinis on the walls, he assumed the room had been Yahiko's.

Finally, he came to the third room. Opening the door and flipping the light revealed a moderate sized room, brightly decorated with floral wallpaper and a bed with bright yellow sheets. There was a guitar in the corner, along with a wooden chest covered with stuffed animals. An ink painting of mountains and cranes was hanging above a mostly empty desk.

He stepped inside, feeling slightly transgressive, but unable to stop himself. Coming in, he noticed that the whole room was covered in a light layer of dust, as if no one had entered in several months. There also was a dull brown stain in the carpet, between the bed and the closet. _Blood stains…_

He was drawn to her desk, or perhaps simply pushed in the opposite direction of the stain on the floor. The desk featured a corkboard filled with pictures, and dropping his backpack by the bed, sat down to better view them. Pictures of a little black-haired girl, crouching on the beach besides a sandcastle, grinning at the camera, unaware of the wave just behind her. The same girl, slightly older, awkwardly posing with a shinai for a team photo. The girl as a teen, obviously humoring the photographer, standing next to who he assumed was a younger Megumi. Picture after picture of some combination of Misao, Megumi and Kaoru, enjoying themselves, with here and there a Sano or Aoshi or someone else he now recognized thrown in.

Then he noticed one picture, partially covered up, that gave him pause. _I've seen that photo before…_

He sprang up and grabbed his backpack, sitting back down on the bed as he fished for that particular notebook…

Finding it, he flipped it open to the sleeve where he kept his friend's letters, mainly Sano's. Behind the letters was a set of photographs Sano had sent him at the beginning of the year, from a Christmas party. And there it was, the same picture that was hanging above Kaoru's desk

Considering the photo now, he was struck by the number of new faces he recognized. Megumi's he had noted before, but his eyes were now drawn straight to Kaoru. He hadn't even really _looked_ at her before, his mind shying away from the people and friendships he couldn't share, the life he wasn't living. Now, he couldn't look away.

Even just from this brief, captured moment, he could tell that she looked… not utterly different, but _fuller_ somehow, more present. She wasn't as thin, and her smile was wider. _Genuine_. There had been glimpses of it all night, when she had given her speech, when they had danced, when she had laughed at Misao's jokes, or spun into his arms.

He sat, transfixed, gazing at her face for he didn't know how long, until his reverie was broken by a bright light coming from outside the window, the faint sound of a breaking car. It snapped him out of his trance, his pulse jumping wildly as he ran to the window and flipped the blinds open.

Seemingly prompted by his action, a nondescript grey sedan stopped across the street sped up again, before disappeared down the hill, any other identifier obscured by the trees lining the road.

Kenshin remained at the window for a long while, staring down at where the car had been, his heartbeat refusing to slow down.

He wondered if he would get any sleep that night.


	9. Chapter 9

Oh man, guys, it's been a while...

Well, life happens, as everyone knows (and every author's note mentions ;) ). I got a new job, moved to a new apartment, had a lot of other things taking my attention...

Anyway, thank you everyone who's read and reviewed; you've definitely helped me keep going. Special shout out to mymanicmarie and kakikaeru for keeping me going! Go read "Persuade My Heart" and "Light in the Time of Shadows"; I'm helping to beta both, and both are AMAZING.

ALSO, I changed the picture for this fic! I commissioned **m7angela** on Tumblr... isn't it gorgeous? Go look at all her amazing art.

So this is the chapter I've been building to, and it is definitely rated "M" and fairly dark. Major trigger warning for abusive relationships, though nothing "explicit" in terms of description.

I hope you enjoy! I promise, I'm going to finish the story, and my "goal" is to do finish within a year of the publish date.

Thanks again!

* * *

"Dennis Charney, a professor of psychiatry and neuroscience at Mount Sinai ... identified a number of critical psychological elements that led to their resilience: altruism, having a solid moral compass, spiritual faith, having a role model, social support, confronting one's fears, and seeing oneself as having a mission in life. The key predictor of who would bounce back from the ordeal and who would not was a sense of optimism. One study of Vietnam War ex-POWs even found that optimism or the lack thereof was more important than the nature of the trauma itself. Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl, in his classic book Man's Search for Meaning, argues for something similar, for what he calls a kind of "tragic optimism" based on a determination to "say yes to life in spite of everything," arguing that "life is potentially meaningful under any circumstances, even those which are the most miserable."

-_The Evil Hours_, David Morris

* * *

_September 1__st__, 2012_

_Saturday, 9:00 PM _

_Washington, DC_

Megumi was keeping a low check on her temper. Technically, Kaoru wasn't late yet; the movie wasn't starting for another 8 minutes. But Kaoru was rarely even close to late, and as per her last message, thirty minutes before, Megumi had bought two tickets. So she couldn't go in until Kaoru arrived.

She didn't even really want to see this movie. But that _was no excuse_.

She was just about to send Kaoru another thinly-veiled, angry text, when someone tapped on her shoulder.

"Yo," said a deep male voice, one she _definitely _recognized and - though she wouldn't admit it - liked a great deal. "You meeting Kaoru?"

Megumi turned to see Sano grinning down at her, and tried to control herself. "Wait… are _you_ here to see Kaoru, too?" _I'm going to kill that girl…_

"Yeah. She asked me yesterday. She mentioned it might be a group thing…"

"She didn't tell me that."

He smirked. "I see. You probably wouldn't have come, would ya?"

She stuttered. "I-that's-not…"

"No, I get it. You don't like me. It's cool."

"I…" She didn't understand why, but she was absurdly angry: at Kaoru, at Sano, at herself. "That's not it."

"Oh? So is there a reason you always try and bite my head off whenever you see me?"

"I _don't…"_

_"_Sure ya don't. Misao's the other night? You told me I was an idiot, just for trying to open a wine bottle by hitting against the wall-"

"Well, that's because it _was_ stupid-"

"Sure, but you didn't have to say it like that. You could be a little nicer sometimes, you kn-"

"I'M NOT NICE." She didn't mean to yell, and didn't realize she had until the words rang out loud and shrill through the lobby, and people looked over at them. She blushed, and turned away from him. "I'm not. I don't know why. That's just how I am."

Sano didn't respond, so she continued. "I'm not saying you—or anyone else—have to like it or put up with it."

She wouldn't turn around; she couldn't. She'd leave, and likely he'd never talk to her again, not _really_. At the next gathering they both attended, she'd do her best to stay out of his way, to stop _doing _this. He didn't deserve it; well, maybe he did, but she couldn't untangle her normal sense of righteousness from her garbled feelings about him.

"So we gonna go get seats? I can get popcorn, since you bought the tickets."

Her eyes snapped back up; he was smiling at her, his hands in his pockets. Not _smirking, _not mocking her. Just smiling.

He knew. He knew how his smile affected her.

The _jerk_.

Gathering herself up as best she could she walked towards the ticket taker. "Ticket prices are _much _more expensive than measly popcorn."

"Alright," he said behind her, not missing a beat. "I'll buy you dinner after, then."

* * *

_October 19__th__, 2014_

_Sunday, 9:42 AM _

_Washington, DC_

Kaoru didn't wake up, but rather became slowly and painfully aware of the dull ache at the back of her skull and the burn of her dry mouth, the sharp sting of bruised toes that had spent too long in heels, and the sick feeling that spread through her chest whenever she'd spent the previous night making decisions she'd probably regret.

She slowly lifted her head, only to feel that dull ache become a demanding throb, and with a soft groan, let her head sink back down into the pillow.

She lay still for a moment, trying to orient herself, trying to determine what felt wrong, to remember how she had gotten home and _why_ she was in her father's surprisingly dark room…

_Oh… yes…_

With another groan, she tried to turn over, as if that would throw her thoughts in another direction. But she found should couldn't; looking over her shoulder, she saw the pillows that were ballasted against her back. They confused her; she couldn't think why she would place them there herself… Looking at the nightstand, she saw a glass of water, and just beyond it, the blinds of the window were closed. She always kept them open, she liked waking to the sun…

A small flash from last night came through, a momentary memory, with no context of when or how it had come about. The man she had just met, Kenshin, standing in her kitchen as she looked up at him, expectant, hoping, wanting to make him smile. _He looked so sad…_

She didn't groan this time, but her cheeks flushed and her mind lurched in shock at the realization. Kenshin must have taken her home, taken care of her in her drunken state.

She couldn't fully comprehend the intense embarrassment she felt.

But then another realization hit her; there were noises, noises from outside her room. It sounded like the sink was running, and there were distinctive clinks of someone bustling around the kitchen.

She hadn't woken to sounds like that since her father's death.

_No, no, not this early. Not now. I can't._

Stumbling out of bed, she tiptoed to the door, and as quietly as she could, opened it. The sound of sizzling, dishes clanking, and a murmuring voice greeted her, a masculine voice; he was either speaking to himself, or on the phone.

Her cheeks burned. Kenshin was still here, and if she was reading the situation right, he was making her breakfast. _Oh god, how can I possibly face him? What even _happened?

_What happened… how did this happen, why…_

_A soothing smile, an outstretched hand, offering to lead her to her room… _The memory shifted to another man's smile, cloying rather than sweet, as a hand tightly gripped her arm…

No, no, no… her memories would not stop, and before she realized it, she was kneeling on the floor, her head in her hands and tears in her eyes. _I can't let him hear… I can't… _

Once more springing to her feet, she found herself opening her door, and with deliberate focus on shutting out sounds from the kitchen, she sprinted to the bathroom.

Her hands turned the shower faucets, bringing water tumbling forth to cover her body and her tears. She stripped and stepped into the tepid water, barely holding back her memories, hoping perhaps that this time, they would melt and drip off her, disappear down the drain. That was too much to hope for; at least she was shrouded within the cloud of water before they overcame her.

...

Megumi didn't like him. Kaoru knew that; it was obvious from the moment she introduced him to her. But Megumi was so busy, finishing her residency program and planning her wedding… and Misao had finally landed a premier spot in her ballet company, besides cajoling Aoshi into a serious relationship. Yahiko was in college, and dealing with his own grief. She couldn't ask him, or _any _of them.

She was alone.

Kihei was the one who _offered._ He was the one who was there for her, when she desperately needed someone, _anyone_. He had been a minor fixture of her fighting club for a few weeks, maybe a few months. He was a couple years older than her, but that didn't matter. He had _offered_.

She hadn't… she wasn't ready for what had happened to her father. They had been so _close… _yet there were innumerable things she hadn't asked him yet. Hadn't spoken to him about. About him and her mother, how they had met, and what she had been like before she died. About his childhood back in California, about his parents, his family back in Japan. About their work, about his martial arts style… He hadn't given her the test for master status yet; he kept saying she wasn't _quite _ready. Now she never would be.

Kihei was the one who answered her calls, who came over when she needed someone, like Megumi used to…

...

It had been a cold January day, and Kaoru had been busy with a new case, a woman whose boyfriend insisted her baby wasn't his, and was threatening her life; getting her settled took all of her attention. She hadn't spared a thought to wonder where her father was, or why he was late to call her with news of his latest baseball game; he always crowed their teams victories or moaned over their defeats.

It wasn't until late afternoon, as she crossed the street to head home, and thoughts turned to dinner and what the two of them would scrounge up, that she took a good look at her phone and noticed the four missed calls from an unknown number.

...

Hours later, in the morgue, staring listlessly at her father's dead body, she heard the detective's voice: _He was very brave, stepping into an armed robbery like that, trying to calm the situation… It seems to have ultimately have been an accident, we have the boy who did it in custody. He confessed without any prompting…_

Her father had stopped at a convenience store after their game, to get gas and some jerky, he often did that, only to walk in on a robbery in progress. A young man, a fifteen year old boy, really, had been holding up the store, and her father had tried to talk him down from it. But the boy didn't know how to use his gun, and didn't know the safety was off, so when he went to lower his gun he'd squeezed the trigger accidentally and it went off.

Kaoru stared numbly down at her father's taut, lifeless face, so grim in death. It didn't look a thing like him. She thought of the call she would have to make, and the two and a half hours it would probably take Yahiko to make it up from Virginia. He probably should wait until tomorrow. Maybe she wouldn't tell him until tomorrow. It was a Friday night; let him have a nice one.

Let him think Dad was alive—god, how did it make _any_ sense that he was _dead_, they'd taught a class together that morning; he'd jokingly complained of back pain like he always did, and she rolled her eyes like she always did.

Let Yahiko not know—for another day. She wished desperately not to know, herself.

...

The first time Kihei was cruel to her, she barely registered it. Right after, he was sweet: in her memories, sickly sweet even, promising to make her favorite dinner, and to do her laundry, her least favorite chore.

He'd been staying with her for a week or so—some issue with his landlord, maybe it was being fumigated, maybe there was some work being done on the hallway, the story wasn't clear. Kaoru was glad to have him around; she was barely holding it together, had cut down classes to only one a day, shifted some of her caseload to a few understanding (but still hesitant) coworkers.

She just wanted to stay in bed all day. It wasn't healthy; she needed to go see someone. But after teaching classes, or after what work she managed to get done, knowing that when she went upstairs, there would be a hot meal, and Kihei would probably say they should watch a movie, and he'd hand her a beer or maybe some pot, and she could lean on him and just not think—it made it hard to make an effort to do anything else.

…

The first time he hit her was a major awakening.

He'd been arguing with her, in a condescending way that only hit her as condescending as his hand came and slapped her across the face.

He'd been telling her she should sell the house.

...

Two weeks after the first time, he hit her so hard she blacked out.

She didn't see it coming; he'd been trying to convince her to sell again, telling her he'd found a buyer even, which stunned her. She'd told him on no uncertain terms that she would never sell her father's house, not unless she had no other option. She'd told him to stop pestering her, and turned to go up to her room, and then the world crumbled around her.

When she woke, he was cradling her in his arms, promising her she'd be alright, that he would take care of her. Numbly, she'd gone along, let him tuck her into bed, kiss her cheek.

Once he'd left she shed hot, slick tears and her thoughts had shuffled through the fear and shame she felt, to have been so utterly at another's mercy. To have left herself vulnerable and open, to have needed someone so much that she'd ignored and waved away the voice in the back of her head that told her not to trust him, that warned her that he was only there to use her. She had wanted to believe in the good in everyone, she always had, and he had used that. Despite being the exact person who should know better.

_How had she let this happen_?

Her resolve had flooded into her in one hot burst, and she had stumbled to her feet, feeling the ache at the back of her head throb fiercely at the movement. She had pressed a hand against the pain, and when she pulled it away, felt wetness and smelled the tang of blood.

...

She'd waited another few hours before sneaking out, wanting to be sure that Kihei was asleep, too afraid at what he might try, and feeling too groggy to be sure of resisting him.

She'd walked unsteadily the twelve blocks to Megumi's apartment.

The remainder of the night was a blur, of Sano pulling her into the apartment and settling her on their couch, Megumi checking her pulse and head, almost eerily calm within her professional mask, of Sano cursing when she managed to whisper out what had happened, too tired to attempt to dissuade him from leaving the apartment in a rush.

Megumi took her over to her office in the VA, to make sure she was alright. She hadn't received a concussion, and the cut on her head was small enough not to require stiches. Megumi got her some strong pain meds, and she had fallen asleep on the couch within the hour.

...

In the morning, she'd learned that Sano had collected Seijuro and Chou, and the three of them had gone and physically dragged Kihei from her house, throwing him on the street and threatening him in no uncertain terms, that if he dared come within a hundred feet of Kaoru again, they'd beat him within an inch of his life.

She'd almost smiled, and half jokingly, half seriously, thanked him for restraining himself. She didn't doubt that he'd wanted to kill him, but she couldn't fully express how glad she was they hadn't truly hurt him. She couldn't bear if they had gotten in trouble over her lack of judgment. Over her_ failure_…

He squatted down and looked her deep in the eyes, and told her that he was there for her no matter what, and some bastard wasn't allowed to do things like that to her.

"You are the kindest person I know, Kaoru. I… well, damn it, after last night, I wanted to kill that _worthless bastard_. But… I want you to respect me more, so we didn't. We didn't lay a finger on him." She'd given him a look, and he'd looked away sheepishly, letting himself slump down off his heels, and lay his arm on the futon's armrest. "Okay, barely a finger. But he'll be alright."

"Thanks, Sano."

Megumi had coughed meaningfully, and shifted in her seat by the window. "Well, in any case, Kaoru, we should have a serious talk about what to do next. But for now, you should rest. We can talk tonight, or tomorrow. Whenever you feel better."

...

Misao had come over, and she and Megumi and Kaoru had a long talk about what to do. Misao wanted Kaoru to go to the police, but Kaoru felt deep inside that she couldn't, though she knew, she _knew_ that she should. She just couldn't.

She'd walked too many women through the process not to know that it would go poorly.

Megumi had understood, and defended her half hearted pleas to Misao.

They'd trust that Sano's threat would be enough.

...

It was a little over a week later when they came.

She hadn't realized he'd made secret copies of her keys; she should have had the locks changed—one of the many things that haunted her in the months to come. There had been no warning when Kihei and Gohei—she hadn't realized the large, imposing, very unpopular member of their fight club was his brother, or even _knew_ him, they looked nothing alike—barged into her room.

She managed a large shriek before they grabbed her, and tried to silence her by stuffing a rag in her mouth.

Yahiko had been home for the weekend; Megumi had called him and against Kaoru's expressed wishes (but very much in her unvoiced ones), he'd come home from college for the weekend, worried about her… and likely dealing with demons of his own.

It wasn't like he hadn't seen it all before. It wasn't like he didn't know how things could go down.

Another thing for her to berate herself for… bad enough that Yahiko had to watch his own mother's suffering, but to come home and have to see _her_ in the same situation…

But if Yahiko hadn't been there…

It all became clear in the weeks to follow. Yahiko had heard her shriek, and guessing what is was, called the police before rushing to her aid.

He was a good fighter in his own right, but against someone twice his size, he'd been knocked back almost instantly.

But he'd distracted and delayed Kihei enough for Kaoru to get a hit in, and kept Gohei busy for a few moments… and if Yahiko hadn't called the police…

They showed up about 4 minutes after Yahiko placed the call.

She'd… at the hospital, they'd explained, they'd examined her and… and she _didn't want to think about it_, about what had happened while she was passed out on the floor before the police arrived. Nothing serious… or at least, probably nothing. She'd been half stripped when the police arrived, so at the hospital, they'd "recommended" she undergo a rape kit. They'd poked and prodded her, exposed her to her fears and shame while her head swam with pain and the medication for her splitting headache.

They'd cut a portion of her hair, to get the stitches in.

By the time they left her alone, hours later, tired, aching, ashamed, her jitters had turned into a pronounced shake.

* * *

She finally dragged herself out of the shower when the hot water began to run out. The gradually cooling water helped to bring her out of her tailspin of memories, as well as cooling her reddened skin. She'd ceased crying at some point; feeling her face gently, she could tell the cold water was helping to minimize her puffy eyes. She felt strangely hollow, as if emptying herself of tears had scrubbed and scraped away the bad feelings; she felt fragile and raw, but clean.

The first thing she noticed when she shut off the shower was the voices. A low murmuring one, a pleasant mid-toned hum, and most frequently, a high-pitched, staccato voice she knew all too well.

Cautiously, wrapping a towel firmly around her body, she opened the bathroom door and stuck out her head. That was when the smells hit her, smells of frying butter and bacon.

"... there's no way I would've _believed _Megumi would have danced like that, but then, we were all there to see it…"

There was a low reply, too low for Kaoru to make out, which could only mean one thing: Aoshi and Misao were in her kitchen.

A moment of indecision, and then she made a dash for her room. Once inside with the door safely shut, she leaned against it, and tried to orient herself to what could possibly be going on. Kenshin was making breakfast. Aoshi and Misao were over. And she was hiding in her room, after crying in the shower for god knows how long.

One thing was certain; she wasn't going to be able to avoid them forever.

* * *

Ten minutes later, she finally dragged herself away from her door, dressed herself, and plastered a smile on her face. She figured her cheeks and eyes had had enough time to return to normal, and any remaining redness would be attributed to a hangover. Besides, the three octave spread of voices from beyond her door was too distracting. Were they talking of her? What did the high peel that was Misao say to get that midtone chuck from Kenshin? The rumble that was Aoshi came rarely, but what must he think of her travesty of a kitchen?

Yet once she finally gathered her courage, and turned the corner from her hallway to face her house guests, she couldn't have been more surprised.

Her kitchen table was cleared, the floor and all other surfaces spotless, with Misao and Aoshi sitting happy with coffee in their hands, her old, cheesy Halloween-themed placemats laid out in front of them. Kenshin's back was to her, as he was standing in front of a hot stove, making pancakes.

Before she could process the scene in front of her, Misao noticed her entrance. "Morning, Kaoru! You feel about as wretched as I do?"

It took her a long moment to answer. "That depends," she said, while cautiously sliding into a chair beside Misao, her eyes darting to Kenshin's back despite herself. "Do you feel like someone cracked your skull open and then tried to glue it back together?"

Misao snorted. "Just about. My memories of the end of the evening are a little vague, but if I ever manage to remember _who_ did this to me, they'll live to regret it, let me tell you."

"Now, now, Miss Misao, it is important to take responsibility for one's own actions." Kenshin turned away from the stove carrying a tray of pancakes. Kaoru's heart clenched, and she didn't know precisely why. "I am sure if you review your memories carefully, the answer of who did this to you will come back."

He carefully set the pancakes on the table, next to the already laid out platter of eggs and bacon, butter and syrup and _jam_, did she even _have _jam? She stared at her table, trying to process the scene.

"I hope you do not mind, Miss Kaoru. I took the liberty of raiding your kitchen this morning, and asked Aoshi and Misao to bring a few extra items along."

Kaoru hesitantly looked up at him, then immediately looked away with a blush. His eyes, she'd forgotten how _intense_ they were. Not that he was looking at her intensely; it just seemed that there was so much information and thought and _feeling_ contained in them, even when he was looking at her so softly and kindly.

He'd made her breakfast. She hadn't eaten breakfast at this table in months. He'd made her breakfast, and he was _apologizing_.

What was she going to do?

She must have mumbled something vaguely coherent, because Misao picked up the conversation again, allowing Kaoru some time to merely sit and think, halfway lucid thoughts that given the state of her head, which were more feelings and impressions than anything else.

She sat there, clutching her coffee, smelling the air that spun with melted butter and bacon grease and just _good_ smells, lazy morning smells, all the staleness and grime she'd come to associate with the room gone. Misao chattered, Aoshi grumbled now and again, but most importantly, whenever Kenshin smiled, Kaoru felt like the room got just a little warmer, a little more comfortable and yet _uncomfortable_ at the same time.

Slowly, after sips of coffee and bites of what she had to admit were just about the fluffiest pancakes she'd ever had, she felt her mind settling, the ache she hadn't even felt easing off her chest ever so lightly.

By the time Misao grabbed her arm, insisting they let Kenshin take a break and let _them _do the dishes, Kaoru even felt the beginnings of a smile.

* * *

_October 19__th__, 2014_

_Sunday, 5:20 PM _

_Washington, DC_

Kenshin stared at the menu, totally at a loss for what to order. _Coffee has gotten a lot more complicated since I have been gone_… _And _how_ did we end up at a restaurant called _Tryst_ of all places?_

He glanced over at Kaoru, who was equally engrossed with her own menu. Though why she should need to study the menu so closely confused him; she claimed to know the place. Yet she was staring at the menu intensely, her eyes bright and her cheeks flushed.

They had spent the whole afternoon outdoors, that had to be why her whole face was glowing…

_Focus_. He settled on a latte, and as if on cue the waitress—sporting what seemed to be the standard thick-brimmed glasses and asymmetrical haircut of the entire staff-arrived, and with a perfunctory smile, asked what they'd like. He ordered, and Kaoru followed suit, though she ordered her coffee black.

Their drinks arrived startlingly fast: luckily, as Kaoru was still considering her menu, and Kenshin could not decide what to ask her. Her demeanor had altered so drastically from the morning, and he was a little thrown for how he should act.

The day had turned out lovely, a crisp fall day with only the barest hint of chill, and after breakfast, Misao had insisted the four of them do something together. They had dithered about museums and movies, or even just taking a walk through the Mall, but when she discovered that Kenshin had never been the the zoo—"NEVER? Not even ONCE? But you said you grew up here!"—it was decided a little animal gazing would be just the thing.

He was surprised by how much he enjoyed it; even with the crowds, and his general ambivalence when it came to staring at immobile and thoroughly bored caged beasts, he was having _fun_.

It had to be the company.

When he had woken in the predawn light, after a few hours of fitful sleep, he had set to cleaning with determined vigor, clearing away all the trash and grime from her living spaces.

It had soothed him, more than he expected. To feel useful, to empty his mind and just _fix_ something. To see something blatantly messy and broken and clear it away.

To be in control.

There had been some basic ingredients in the house, most of what he needed to make pancakes, and he uncovered a freezer-burned but still edible package of bacon. If he could feed her… if he could find a way to make things nice and simple between them, then maybe he could find a way to return his heart-rate to normal when he was around her, maybe he would not feel an electric shock when he met her eyes.

He had been in the middle of a call with Aoshi, asking him and Misao to bring eggs over, when he heard her run off to the bathroom. For the next half hour, he had been on edge, trying to distract himself by arranging the table, greeting Misao and Aoshi, frying up the eggs and pancakes. No matter what he did, his whole attention was set to listening for Kaoru's arrival.

Then, finally, in the middle of Misao's recanting of last nights most ridiculous escapades, she arrived.

...

"Are you going to order food, or…?"

"Oro?"

Kenshin was drawn out of his memory, and rapidly refocused on the menu. "Are you hungry, Kaoru?"

"Um, kind of? I just... wasn't sure... if you wanted to eat here?" She flicked her gaze over to him briefly, but only for a moment.

"Well, what would you recommend? Since you know the place, that is?" He shifted in his seat, so he would face her more, hoping to make it easier for her to talk to him. All he accomplished was pressing his knee against hers. He pulled away sharply before she could even react... and proceeded to spill his coffee all over his lap.

He jumped up with a yelp, but luckily, his drink was only moderately warm; all he had to contend with was the rather embarrassing dark stain now gracing his pants. If it was not so overly cliché, he would have laughed. Luckily for him, she saved him by laughing herself.

"Can I ask what is funny?" he said, while pitching his head to the side, a grin growing on his face.

"This!" she chuckled, "I know you're a little rusty, but _still_."

He raised his eyebrow, smirking down at her. "Rusty? Whatever at, Kaoru?"

She was saved from responding by their waitress, who returning with a stack of paper towels and a look of barely concealed annoyance.

Once he had gotten himself back into working order, at least, as well as he could without changing, Kenshin sat back down with a flourish, and picked up his menu again. "Well, that settles it."

"Oh?"

"It will take some time for my clothes to dry, so if you are amenable, eating here sounds fine. Unless there is somewhere you prefer?"

"Um, no, I like it here." She was still smiling, his accident apparently clearing away most of their awkwardness. _Well_, _that's well, then. _

"But I must beg your forgiveness, my clumsiness interrupted you. "

"Oh... um, I'm afraid I won't be much help." She blushed. "This was more my haunt back in high school."

He saw the opening to a real conversation, and took it. "Now I am interested in hearing more about you as a teenager; when I was that age, wouldn't have known to come to such a chic cafe!"

That got her to smile. " And you think I did? No, Megumi brought me."

"Ha, ha, I see. You two were classmates?"

"No, she's a few years older than me."

"But you've always been close, yes?"

"Um." She paused. "Well, sort of. It's complicated... And well, part of, well." Her eyes flitted up to meet his for a moment, before settling on her coffee mug. "The full story is kind of one of those things you don't really talk about with people you just met, you know?"

He felt a stab of disappointment, but repressed it quickly. Of course she was right; just because he wanted to know everything about her, about what she had been like as a teenager, about her friendship with Megumi, about whatever it was that had hurt her so deeply yet still left her able to smile... but he would not push her. Certainly not when, he hoped, they would have time to become friends, and learn about each other, the good _and _the bad.

"But... I guess I feel like I kind of owe you. An explanation, that this."

"Kaoru, if you don't wish to talk about it-"

"No! I do. It's just, well, anyway." She sucked in a breath. "You remember, in my speech last night? I've known Megumi forever. But when I started high school, she kind of became my and Yahiko's caretaker, after school, you know, for a couple years. We were friends by the end of it, but it was... not by choice at first."

He couldn't think what to add, and she hurried on; he did his best to focus on every word.

"It was, well. It was because of... well. It was because of Yahiko. You see, he... that was when he first came to live with us, my dad and me, I mean. When I was fourteen. And he had a hard time, um, with the transition, with coming to live with us. And my dad, well, he didn't want to leave us alone together, because Yahiko and I fought a lot, and it didn't always end well... I didn't fully understand, being pretty young myself. So Dad arranged for Megumi to come over. To watch us."

He nodded, but did not fully understand, until- "Yahiko was adopted, you see."

"Ah. I see."

And he did, immediately. He understood the fear, the constant fear of rejection, that manifested itself as spite and anger and _lashing out_, at those who you wanted most to accept you, because _when_—not if—they were going to reject you_, you had to give them a real _reason. And he understood how, for someone like Kaoru, especially as a young girl, that just wouldn't make sense. Even after only a day's acquaintance, he saw that she reacted to others with pure _honesty_, showing how she felt without a drop of hesitation, and seeming to expect others to do the same.

It was mesmerizing, to see someone so open with themselves. It made him want to reciprocate.

They sat in silence for a moment, listening to the murmur of conversation around the cafe, the chink of glasses, the hum of the espresso machine.

"You know... I was adopted, too." Kenshin said. "When I was ten."

"You were?" Her eyes met his and grew wide, and he felt a deep desire to spill out his whole sorry past for her, all the pain and suffering and insanity it contained, and ask her to absolve him of it. An absurd thought, that he pushed aside as quickly as his curiosity. "How, how did that happen?" Suddenly she reddened again, looking away. "I mean, only if you want to talk about it-"

Without thinking, he reached over and grasped her hand. "I do. It is just," he grinned at her when she looked up again, his most disarming grin, "it is not something you really talk about with someone you just met." He squeezed her hand, then let it go. "But I would like to tell you, if you do not mind."

"I don't mind," she said, and from the earnest look in her eyes, he could tell she meant it.

Drawing in a breath, he began. "I grew up in Bosnia." He continued past her small gasp. "I left in 1992, after losing my family and after I was adopted... or I guess you could say rescued, by an ex-CIA agent who was in the area, and found me." He thought for a second. "Well, I _think_ he was ex-CIA at the time. It has never been entirely clear."

She was just looking at him, clearly at a loss for what to say. Suddenly he regretted it, regretted putting this on her; it was too soon, much too soon. He looked down, trying to think of a way to salvage the situation.

Then her hand was on his.

"Do you know... what happened to your family?"

Once again, he looked at her, really _looked_, and was blown away by the compassion he saw there. _How can anyone feel that much for someone else? _"No. Not really."

"I'm sorry." She sighed. "Knowing is hard, but not knowing... that can be even worse."

"Perhaps." He was not sure, himself. But he had talked to enough other survivors and certainly his fair share of social workers and mental health professionals, to know that, perhaps, that would have helped him. To know.

But then again, given the possibilities... part of him was glad not to know.

"Is your adoptive father... is he still in your life?"

"Well, to an extent." He smiled, avoiding as best he could delving into _that_ whole well of emotions. "I know where he lives, but I have not spoken to him in several years. I know I should, but-"

"You should." Her voice resonated with her sincerity. "You really should."

"I know." And he did; hearing it from her, somehow it helped, confirming that small voice in the back of his head that berated him for failing to send Hiko letters, for failing to check in on him. "I-"

_BBRR-RING. BBRR-RING._

Kaoru dug her phone from her pocket and hurriedly answered it. "Hello?" Her brow furrowed for a second, before she looked over to him again, an incredulous look on her face. "It's for you."

"Oh..." He took it, equally confused. "Hello?"

"Hey... Kenshin. How you doing?" It was Katsu.

"I am fine; I assume since you called this number, Aoshi let you know where I was?"

"Yeah, he did. So. We need to talk. About tonight."

Suddenly the call made perfect sense. It had completely slipped his mind, in all the excitement of the past 24 hours: he had no plans for where he was going to stay. "Ah yes."

"So, Sano offered you his place to stay last night, I know, but... well, I've been kind of avoiding telling him, what with the wedding taking up all his time... I'm leaving town soon. Like, tomorrow."

"Oh. OH." Well, THAT was certainly news. Though from Katsu, not that surprising. "Where are you heading?"

"Nigeria. A reporting gig came up, and I need to be there tomorrow."

"… I see."

"Anyway, I wish I could offer you a place to stay, but I'm probably going to be pulling an all nighter packing, and so it'd be pretty awkward for you to stay tonight... and let's just say our landlord is happy to see us go."

"… Oh."

"Anyway, I'm really sorry, but, I got your duffel bag here... I talked to Aoshi. He said that you might have arrangements?"

"Aoshi said... Oro..." He'd certainly had Aoshi's request in the back of his mind all day, but had yet to give it the attention it deserved. There had been no indication during their outing today that Aoshi had spoken to either Kaoru _or_ Misao about his warnings from the other night, and Kenshin was loath to bring it up himself. Not when there were so many other difficult things he wanted to ask her about...

"What's the problem?" Kaoru asked, leaning towards him.

Kenshin put his hand over the phone and glanced over at her. "Oh, Katsu wanted to know my plan for tonight-" he stopped abruptly; he had no plan for what to say next.

Staring at him for a moment, she suddenly held out her hand. "Here. Give me the phone."

"Kaoru...?"

She waved her hand impatiently, so he handed it to her without protest.

"Hello, Katsu? … Mmhmm, yeah. … Yeah, that's fine."

Kenshin tried to keep track of the conversation, but they were speaking very quickly, and he could only hear the faint buzz of Katsu's voice...

"Leaving it on the back step should be okay, though can you wait a couple hours? … Okay, great, thanks. … Yeah, good luck! You'll be back soon, I hope? … Oh man! God, I wish you would have told us!"

He felt that the content of their conversation contained something of importance, for himself, that should be obvious, and truthfully, it _was_, but he wasn't prepared to assume it was true, not yet. He needed to hear it from her.

"Alright, Skype us at some point! … Yeah, you too!" She ended the call, immediately turning to him. "Are you ready to order?"

"… Oro?"

Picking up her menu again, Kaoru flipped it open and started pouring over it with purpose. "It'll be easiest for Katsu to drop off your bag at my place fairly soon, so if we eat quick, we should be there to meet him."

"Ah... ah... Kaoru?" He swallowed, trying to sort out what needed to be said first. "That is to say, is that..."

"Well, I mean, you don't have anywhere to stay, do you?"

She was looking at him again; god, her cheeks were flushed, and looking into her blue eyes - they were so _bright_, impossibly so, in the dimly lit room - he found he could only say one thing. "No, not yet."

"Then it's settled. You should stay with me." She blushed harder. "That is, until you have somewhere more permanent. I have plenty of room, as you saw."

"… Thank you, Miss Kaoru. That is very kind of you."

"Kaoru. Just Kaoru." She managed a small grin. "I won't be that kind of landlord, you can call me by my first name."

"Kaoru, then," he said. "Of course, I'll be happy to pay you rent-"

"No, that's alright. You don't have a job yet, do you?"

"No, but-"

"Then you can pay me back in other ways." If possible, her blush grew, inflaming her entire face. "I mean, you saw my place right? Maybe... you could help me clean? And cook?"

He smiled, an impossible warmth flooding through him at the thought of staying with her, helping her cook and clean, keeping her safe. "Of course. I would be most happy to."

"Good," she said, smiling back at him.


End file.
